Lifestyle Chinese Flu Virus Quarantine Cooking Thread

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ThatOneDude

Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
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Jan 14, 2015
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My dough is rising!!
I'm about to go jog on the treadmill for a little in preparation
I'm hoping they come out good. This is my 3rd quarantine attempt, I brought in a ringer this time, Mrs. Dude.
 

SongExotic2

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Earlier today I want by the old bagel store but I think the owner has shut it down for good. His main store is in brugges and this one was seasonal. I was gonna ask for some bagel wisdom
 

SongExotic2

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Hmm you know what I think that's a limited menu. I was just looking at it and there's fuck loads missing. I seen on Facebook they are still doing takeout so I guess this is why
 

Chief

4070 = Legend
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Hmm you know what I think that's a limited menu. I was just looking at it and there's fuck loads missing. I seen on Facebook they are still doing takeout so I guess this is why
I'm surprised westcoasters know this much about bagels. I thought Jews invented them in Brooklyn.
 

ThatOneDude

Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
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Jan 14, 2015
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Bagels are in the oven, I think these are going to come out pretty good.

Edit
The house smells amazing right now.
 
Last edited:

ThatOneDude

Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
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Jan 14, 2015
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Not a big fan of our oven right now. But these look good for the most part. I think our gas stove runs hot so next time we'll bake at 450

 
Last edited:

SongExotic2

ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. #ASSBLOODS
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Not a big fan of our oven right now. But these look good for the most part. I think our gas stove runs hot so next time we'll bake at 450

Funnily enough, there's a young kid at work that couldn't understand what bagels were. He kept thinking I meant donuts, and it was getting lost in translation or something. Bagels are badass but you better sack up and start eating those motherfuckers. What flavor cream cheese you have?
 
D

Deleted member 1

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Kolaches 2.0






As a reminder this was 1.0





So better, but not quit there.

I need some help. This was my ingredient list...

  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 1/2 cup white sugar
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 cup unsalted butter
  • 2 (.25 ounce) packages active dry yeast (my starter is dead right now and wanted to just make these now)
  • 1/2 cup warm water
  • 2 large eggs
  • 4 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

I heated milk, dissolved in the sugar, salt, and butter. Let it cool
mixed yeast, 2 cups of flour, water, and eggs in a mixer bowl.
Once the milk sugar butter mixture had cooled down, added to the rest.
Put it in my mixer with the hook and as it mixed I added the rest of the flour.
Put this on a floured cutting board and kneaded it for 5 minutes until nice and smooth.
Let it rise covered in a bowl for an hour or so. It doubled in size. Was amazingly fluffy and I felt good that I was on the right track.

Wrapped some Boudin and some sausages with the dough.
Baked 350 until browned. This turned out to be longer than I expected...about 17 minutes or so.


Good:
Way more fluffy and taste is pretty close. I think stores make these with more sugar because that's what all stores do. I could make it a tad sweeter.
Bad:
Still not uniformly soft. Maybe I need to add more dough around each sausage/stuffing?
The bottom is too crunchy. The side touching the pan is cooking faster than the rest and this leaves a hard side that messes up the mouthfeel. These are supposed to be uniformly soft and fluffy like a sweet dinner roll. How do dinner rolls get a nice color on top but still stay airy and fluffy?


For those that know baking but not kolaches:

1.0 looked like this on the inside (not mine)
flat, thin, bad color



2.0 is kind of like this



Overly cooked bottom. bottom is thin sides are fluffy. more dough when wrapping bottom? How to fix cooking problem?

A proper breakfast kolache



Look at the bottom. Uniformly cooked on all sides. wtf. Do I cook slower on lower heat?



Also, I want wax poetic that Kolaches will be a national staple in the future. If I had the know how I would franchise these all over the south to start with. It's amazing to me that Memphis has crappy little pigs in a blanket and still serves eggs with ketchup and not salsa. The rest of southern centers largely the same. This is the bigger better cousin to the pig in the blanket at its core followed by local flavors to create new kolaches that represent the local market.
 

SongExotic2

ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. #ASSBLOODS
First 100
Jan 16, 2015
41,783
54,653
Kolaches 2.0






As a reminder this was 1.0





So better, but not quit there.

I need some help.

  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 1/2 cup white sugar
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 cup unsalted butter
  • 2 (.25 ounce) packages active dry yeast (my starter is dead right now and wanted to just make these now)
  • 1/2 cup warm water
  • 2 large eggs
  • 4 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

heated milk, dissolved in the sugar, salt, and butter. Let it cool
mixed yeast, 2 cups of flour, water, and eggs in a mixer bowl.
Once the milk sugar butter mixture had cooled down, added to the rest.
Put it in my mixer with the hook and as it mixed I added the rest of the flour.
Put this on a floured cutting board and kneaded it for 5 minutes until nice and smooth.
Let it rise covered in a bowl for an hour or so. It doubled in size. Was amazingly fluffy and I felt good that I was on the right track.

Wrapped some boudain and some sausages with the dough.
Baked 350 until browned. This turned out to be longer than I expected...about 17 minutes or so.


Good:
Way more fluffy and taste is pretty close. I think stores make these with more sugar because that's what all stores do. I could make it a tad sweeter.
Bad:
Still not uniformly soft. Maybe I need to add more dough around each sausage/stuffing?
The bottom is too crunchy. The side touching the pan is cooking faster than the rest and this leaves a hard side that messes up the mouthfeel. These are supposed to be uniformly soft and fluffy like a sweet dinner roll. How do dinner rolls get a nice color on top but still stay airy and fluffy?


For those that know baking but not kolaches:

1.0 looked like this on the inside (not mine)
flat, thin, bad color



2.0 is kind of like this



Overly cooked bottom. bottom is thin sides are fluffy. more dough when wrapping bottom? How to fix cooking problem?

A proper breakfast kolache



Look at the bottom. Uniformly cooked on all sides. wtf. Do I cook slower on lower heat?



Also, I want wax poetic that Kolaches will be a national staple in the future. If I had the know how I would franchise these all over the south to start with. It's amazing to me that Memphis has crappy little pigs in a blanket and still serves eggs with ketchup and not salsa. The rest of southern centers largely the same. This is the bigger better cousin to the pig in the blanket at its core followed by local flavors to create new kolaches that represent the local market.
Until this thread I'd never heard of kolaches. I tell you what tho I should make some breakfast burritos tomorrow. Or today I guess. That sounds like an awesome idea.
 

SongExotic2

ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. #ASSBLOODS
First 100
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Hmmm.

It's just dawning on me I'm nearly 34 and I've never cooked an egg. This should be fun
 

SongExotic2

ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. #ASSBLOODS
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Fuck yea that's what I'm making. Mexican breakfast scramble. I need some more jalapenos tho and some salsa
 
D

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Until this thread I'd never heard of kolaches. I
You know how breakfast tacos/burritos weren't a thing, then they were everywhere?
Kolaches could easily be that. They aren't too complicated and you can get super hipster putting different stuff inside of them. They have a cool niche cultural background that make them unique, though the ingredients are common. They are gateway drug to a new food for the south that already knows fatty breads, sausage, cheese, etc.

I tell you what tho I should make some breakfast burritos tomorrow.
You should.
Also, ever noticed the terms breakfast tacos vs breakfast burrito?
A burrito and taco are normally quit different but in a world of random fillings to compete, you're left with a tortilla plus egg plus anything else inside...what's the difference between the two beyond vernacular at this point?

In Texas, they are always breakfast tacos. I leave the state and they are burritos.
Seldom are they folded differently at the names imply.
 

SongExotic2

ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. #ASSBLOODS
First 100
Jan 16, 2015
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You know how breakfast tacos/burritos weren't a thing, then they were everywhere?
Kolaches could easily be that. They aren't too complicated and you can get super hipster putting different stuff inside of them. They have a cool niche cultural background that make them unique, though the ingredients are common. They are gateway drug to a new food for the south that already knows fatty breads, sausage, cheese, etc.



You should.
Also, ever noticed the terms breakfast tacos vs breakfast burrito?
A burrito and taco are normally quit different but in a world of random fillings to compete, you're left with a tortilla plus egg plus anything else inside...what's the difference between the two beyond vernacular at this point?

In Texas, they are always breakfast tacos. I leave the state and they are burritos.
Seldom are they folded differently at the names imply.
Tacos aren't folded.
 

SongExotic2

ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. #ASSBLOODS
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Not like a burrito.


FFS doc Texas invented burritos how do you not know this shit?
 
D

Deleted member 1

Guest
Fuck yea that's what I'm making. Mexican breakfast scramble. I need some more jalapenos tho and some salsa
Get serranos and use less. They are hotter but the flavor is better than jalapenos in my opinion.

Whisk your eggs with milk, salt, pepper and a dash of garlic powder.
Saute onions. When they are half done add diced tomatoes. When they are nearly done add cilantro. Saute 30 seconds. Turn heat off. Pour your whisked eggs over it all in the hot pan. Cover with a lid like an omelet. As eggs finish sprinkle a mexican cheese blend and fold in half omelet style. The key to a good omelet is covering and not cooking too quick and we are making this in one pan that is hot from saute, so you have to turn off the heat. Or make your veggies in one pan and use a low heat to cook it all in another.
Serve with salsa on top and a dab of sour cream. Sprinkle fresh cilantro.
The crisp of your pseudo omelet will be nice compared to the melted cheese.
The process will give a uniform veggies throughout instead of having them clump in the middle like a normal omelet.
Finally the red white and green of the sour cream, salsa, and cilantro is a nationalistic reminder that this meal supports that Santa Anna was a trator and Texas is rightfully Mexico's.
 

Onetrickpony

Stay gold
Nov 21, 2016
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32,291
Double fried honey butter chicken.



First time I’ve tried this and I cooked the butter, garlic, honey mixture a minute too long and it turned a darker brown than I would’ve liked. Still tasted ok but was on the edge of being burnt. Next time I’ll know better.

recipe

Honey butter fried chicken recipe - Maangchi.com

I made some quesadillas with roti shells earlier but forgot to take pictures. My family liked them so much I’ll be making them tomorrow so I’ll get some then.
 

SongExotic2

ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. #ASSBLOODS
First 100
Jan 16, 2015
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Get serranos and use less. They are hotter but the flavor is better than jalapenos in my opinion.

Whisk your eggs with milk, salt, pepper and a dash of garlic powder.
Saute onions. When they are half done add diced tomatoes. When they are nearly done add cilantro. Saute 30 seconds. Turn heat off. Pour your whisked eggs over it all in the hot pan. Cover with a lid like an omelet. As eggs finish sprinkle a mexican cheese blend and fold in half omelet style. The key to a good omelet is covering and not cooking too quick and we are making this in one pan that is hot from saute, so you have to turn off the heat. Or make your veggies in one pan and use a low heat to cook it all in another.
Serve with salsa on top and a dab of sour cream. Sprinkle fresh cilantro.
The crisp of your pseudo omelet will be nice compared to the melted cheese.
The process will give a uniform veggies throughout instead of having them clump in the middle like a normal omelet.
Finally the red white and green of the sour cream, salsa, and cilantro is a nationalistic reminder that this meal supports that Santa Ana was a trator and Texas is rightfully Mexico's.
Fucken never cooked an egg


"Like omelette, like omelette"

Thank you for the tips. We will see what happens.

The thing about me is I've not cooked. Pretty much ever. But I am a big foodie. I'll make that shit taste delicious one way or another.