Need some advice (yes, over a girl -_-)

[Psychotropic Wanderlust]

Well if this were my wife, I would obviously have a problem with it. But this girl isn't committed to the OP in any way. By all accounts, she may actually be committed to someone else. So no, I wouldn't be looking at this girl as some kind of possession of mine...and it certainly wouldn't be something that I would be getting worked up about.

I was just always sorta "meh" when it came to chics when I dated. If they were down, great. If they weren't, someone else would be or I would spend more time with friends or in the gym lol.

what I am saying is obviously this chick is thought of as wife material by the OP. so why would be let others hit it when he could be hitting it instead of getting sloppy 20th's?. I understand what you mean when its just some random puss, but if you have a connection, its different imo.

 

[Psychotropic Wanderlust]

I dont want permission to fuck her, I want permission to steal her from her boyfriend and given immunity from having same thing happening to me. Karma tho

joking aside, this isnt just a physical thing for me. I wouldnt call it emotinal either, but its something

if she leaves him for you that doesnt necessarily mean she will cheat on you. all it means is that she chose you over him.

people leave other people for successful relationships all the time. if it was the contrary no one would leave anybody.

 

[Jesus X]

Let me guess, she doesn't have many/any female friends because girls are too bitchy.

reminds me of John Leguizamo always complaining every one he met in hollywood was an asshole or a jerk, when everyone you meet is an asshole maybe you are the asshole to begin with.

 

[Wild]

what I am saying is obviously this chick is thought of as wife material by the OP. so why would be let others hit it when he could be hitting it instead of getting sloppy 20th's?. I understand what you mean when its just some random puss, but if you have a connection, its different imo.

The OP is 25 and this chic is 22. Both have decades of connections to make. You know how many chics I've hooked up with that I swore was "the one"? Dozens, if not hundreds. I guess I'm a different kinda cat or something...or maybe it's just that I'm in my 40's now and have been there, done that. But I just wouldn't be getting worked up about this chic, or any chic for that matter, at his age. Like I said, I would take someone out and have a good time...then tell this chic about. She'll show her hand with a quickness, and either be all up in the OP's shit or be gone.

 

[Psychotropic Wanderlust]

I think I'm afraid if I say nothing, then Ill get nothing.

this is how it is in all walks of life man.

to quote some mma announcer "be the hero of your own movie, the only thing stopping you from doing that is you and your misconceptions about yourself"

 

[Psychotropic Wanderlust]

The OP is 25 and this chic is 22. Both have decades of connections to make. You know how many chics I've hooked up with that I swore was "the one"? Dozens, if not hundreds. I guess I'm a different kinda cat or something...or maybe it's just that I'm in my 40's now and have been there, done that. But I just wouldn't be getting worked up about this chic, or any chic for that matter, at his age. Like I said, I would take someone out and have a good time...then tell this chic about. She'll show her hand with a quickness, and either be all up in the OP's shit or be gone.

I think it comes down to regret and the fear of not knowing "what if". that shit will eat at your soul.

 

[check it]

i think you're making this a whole lot more complicated than it needs to be.

I dont want permission to fuck her, I want permission to steal her from her boyfriend and given immunity from having same thing happening to me. Karma tho

permission, granted.

 

[Psychotropic Wanderlust]

@TheDorkKnight

dont give me an optimistic man!!!. if you made a move, banged this chick for a few years and then things didnt work out wouldnt that be a successful relationship? you both got what you wanted out of it at that time in your lives. nothing lasts forever my friend. life gets easier when you realize that.

 

[check it]

chances are...in 6 moths you're gonna be saying the same things @Song2 feels about his lady in the community chat thread.

 

[Psychotropic Wanderlust]

reminds me of John Leguizamo always complaining every one he met in hollywood was an asshole or a jerk, when everyone you meet is an asshole maybe you are the asshole to begin with.

so this has been my problem the whole time.

fuck! lol.

 

[MadFatChickKilla]

If you love something set it free, if it comes back it's yours forever, if not it was never ment to be.

I have used this in the past and it helped me out massively.

Failing that, if in doubt whip it out.

Used this to great success as well, good luck.

 

[TheDorkKnight]

@TheDorkKnight

dont give me an optimistic man!!!. if you made a move, banged this chick for a few years and then things didnt work out wouldnt that be a successful relationship? you both got what you wanted out of it at that time in your lives. nothing lasts forever my friend. life gets easier when you realize that.

haha this motherfucker, I like you. I feel like I gotta figure out what the deal with this boyfriend is, but I like the optimism

 

[TheDorkKnight]

probably gonn get off for minute, but I really appreciate the feedback from everyone, its been nice to get this out of my head and get some practical responses back. Ill keep everyone updated on how shit goes and will come back to expand to answer shit if anyone has anything

 

[Psychotropic Wanderlust]

sometimes the anonymity of strangers is better than the interaction of a loved one with judgements.

and too expand on this. dont let the "chance of rejection" effect your life man. there really are only 4 outcomes to this.

1) you tell her and she flat out rejects you. in that case you should feel happy! you now know that any more time spent with or on her would be wasted time and emotions.

2) you tell her and she accepts you with love in return. game on. as long as YOUR needs are being met and are in line with HER needs it wasnt a waste of time at all. regardless if you last 2 months or 20 years.

3) you dont say anything and she walks away after a few weeks. do I really have to type out that you will be crushing your socks nightly over a chick you could be dumping loads into? not saying anything makes you feel worth less than you are as a human. remember what I said about confidence?

4) you dont say anything and you get friend zoned. watching her get railed by bros and assholes. dont devalue yourself like that man.


IMO, the only option is to tell her whats up. but do it awesomely with excitement and happiness. dont be a milhouse.

 

[lueVelvet]

I met Mrs Velvet (ten years now) at a party she attended with someone else. I knew the guy she came with and when I went outside to grab a smoke (quit that a few years later) I saw her there and asked her out right... "What are you doing with that asshole?". We went out the next night...

Some folks like honesty, and some folks don't. Tread lightly but it's important to NOT be emotional about it. Don't be insecure about it. At the end of the day, you don't need her, or anyone else to make it in this world. Be secure in your place in this world and it will show to everyone you hang out with, including her. If you want her to leave her current BF for you, you'll have to give her a reason why you're a better pick. You can do that subtly, by just being a cool dude who's there for her while not being taken advantage of.

Also, I met Mrs Velvet when I was 27. It's never really too late to meet your dream companion.

 

[Psychotropic Wanderlust]

I am going for lunch and get high.

talk soon. if you want my number for some life coaching and general boosting of your confidence shoot me a PM.

 

[Psychotropic Wanderlust]

I met Mrs Velvet (ten years now) at a party she attended with someone else. I knew the guy she came with and when I went outside to grab a smoke (quit that a few years later) I saw her there and asked her out right... "What are you doing with that asshole?". We went out the next night...

Some folks like honesty, and some folks don't. Tread lightly but it's important to NOT be emotional about it. Don't be insecure about it. At the end of the day, you don't need her, or anyone else to make it in this world. Be secure in your place in this world and it will show to everyone you hang out with, including her. If you want her to leave her current BF for you, you'll have to give her a reason why you're a better pick. You can do that subtly, by just being a cool dude who's there for her while not being taken advantage of.

Also, I met Mrs Velvet when I was 27. It's never really too late to meet your dream companion.

exactly brotha. perfect! very happy for you!

have confidence in yourself OP!!!!

 

[Psychotropic Wanderlust]

or you can use the greatest pick up line ever

"wanna hold this while I go for a walk" and reach out your hand.

 

[1031]

Ryan VonDoom and Bird watcher gave you the only advice you need on page one.

Look dude, most of us have been there in one form or another and we know and more importantly YOU KNOW, there's only one way to move forward. You want this so you have to think about YOU.
Things haven't taken the turn you wanted at this point so it's time to take the bull by the horns. If it goes to hell then you'll feel like a cunt for a while but god damn it, at least you'll have tried. Nothing and I mean NOTHING is worse than not trying.

 

[Chief]

I saw her there and asked her out right... "What are you doing with that asshole?"

Haha. I picture you walking up like Clint Eastwood and saying that.

 

[BWS]

DON'T GET WITH A BROAD THATS OKAY WITH CHEATING ON HER CURRENT BF............THATS JUST ASKING FOR TROUBLE MAN..........JUST MY TWO CENTS........

 

[maurice]

i think you're making this a whole lot more complicated than it needs to be.

This.

You want to fuck her but don't want to be the "other man"? Then tell her that. If she refuses to break up with him, then walk away. She might get back in touch with you later or she might not.

If she leaves him and then starts dating you, that's not "bad karma." That's just normal shit that you do in your 20s.

 

[Ryann Von Doom]

reminds me of John Leguizamo always complaining every one he met in hollywood was an asshole or a jerk, when everyone you meet is an asshole maybe you are the asshole to begin with.

Except everyone in hollywood is an asshole.

 

[MadFatChickKilla]

L

let me tell you my story. Veronica was dating my weed dealer. we would chat when everyone was around etc but nothing really developed. she was an amazing chick, we liked most of the same things, act the same etc. simply awesome. my sister is handicapped...and one day as I was taking her to special olympics, I seen veronica there. so I went up and chatted with her, turns out her sister is 'tarded too. we talked for hours as our sisters did their thing. I was completely infatuated with her. to the point that I would go pick up some weed from her when he wasnt home just so I could talk to her. then, one day as I was jumping into bed I get a phone call... its veronica, at the pub, with a bunch of mutual friends. she asks me to come out for a drink, its like midnight...but really, how many girls are calling me at midnight to come for a drink? so I go. the whole night she is eyeing me up etc. at the end of the night I drive her and another friend home. I dropped friend off, then dropped off veronica. I watched her walk across the courtyard and to her building door, then I thought to myself "I cant let this end like this. I have to do something. I think this could be THE girl." so before i knew what I was doing I jumped out of the car and jogged over to her saying "hey you forgot this" I got over to her and kissed her. didnt eve break stride. walked right up like the terminator and kissed her GOOD. then I said bye and left....

we have been together for 9 years and married for 3.

Like a boss.

You forgot to add this.

 

[SongExotic2]

Do yourself a favor. Get a ps4 and in 2 weeks get fallout 4. Play it forever and jerk off every once in a while. Bitches ain't worth the hassle mang.

Maybe after you completed fallout 4 15 times you can join the shaolin temple or something