General I don't even know if I know my wife anymore.

[kvr28]

First she threw away my alarm clock last month because it was "broken" I had that thing for 40 years, longer than her. Now I got this neon blue shit that doesn't have a radio that keeps me up half the night because it is so bright.

Then, last night I was skipping through the channels and saw the OG Willy Wonka and she made a comment, oh let's watch that, I've never saw the whole thing. I looked at her and said how is that possible, she said she has seen different scenes but as the youngest of 6 she never had control of the remote.

I don't even know her.

What has your wife done or said that is WTF!

 

[Wild]

Well, my wife's a liar. That's long been established. One, early on she convinced me that she enjoys giving blowjobs. If that's true, someone else has been on the receiving end for 20 years. Two, she told me that her mom is a great cook & she learned from her. That's a lie. Not the part about her mom being a great cook (she is), but my wife can't cook for shit. Three, she told me that she's not high maintenance. L oh fucking L. She now just says the quiet part out loud and calls herself a trophy wife. Other than all that, she's awesome.

Merry Christmas? I don't think so.

 

[kvr28]

Well, my wife's a liar. That's long been established. One, early on she convinced me that she enjoys giving blowjobs. If that's true, someone else has been on the receiving end for 20 years. Two, she told me that her mom is a great cook & she learned from her. That's a lie. Not the part about her mom being a great cook (she is), but my wife can't cook for shit. Three, she told me that she's not high maintenance. L oh fucking L. She now just says the quiet part out loud and calls herself a trophy wife. Other than all that, she's awesome.

Merry Christmas? I don't think so.

Damn my apologies for bringing up so much anger on Christmas eve

 

[Wiggy]

Well, my wife's a liar. That's long been established. One, early on she convinced me that she enjoys giving blowjobs. If that's true, someone else has been on the receiving end for 20 years. Two, she told me that her mom is a great cook & she learned from her. That's a lie. Not the part about her mom being a great cook (she is), but my wife can't cook for shit. Three, she told me that she's not high maintenance. L oh fucking L. She now just says the quiet part out loud and calls herself a trophy wife. Other than all that, she's awesome.

Merry Christmas? I don't think so.

I can attest that your wife does indeed love giving blowjobs. And boy howdy, is she good at it, too.

Merry Christmas

 

[kvr28]

I can attest that your wife does indeed love giving blowjobs. And boy howdy, is she good at it, too.

Merry Christmas

Lol, holy fuck

 

[Robbie Hart]

Well, my wife's a liar. That's long been established. One, early on she convinced me that she enjoys giving blowjobs. If that's true, someone else has been on the receiving end for 20 years. Two, she told me that her mom is a great cook & she learned from her. That's a lie. Not the part about her mom being a great cook (she is), but my wife can't cook for shit. Three, she told me that she's not high maintenance. L oh fucking L. She now just says the quiet part out loud and calls herself a trophy wife. Other than all that, she's awesome.

Merry Christmas? I don't think so.

I like your wife

 

[kvr28]

I like your wife

But no blow jobs

 

[Robbie Hart]

But no blow jobs

This is life

 

[meatplow]

I gave my wife the new diamond ring that she wanted, and I was with her for several fittings to make sure that I bought the correct ring. The day after she decided that it was the ring she wanted, I purchased it. I gave it to her this evening, and she was unhappy that I "bought the wrong one" and wants to return it.

Mind you she last tried it on Sunday, and I bought it Monday from the same jeweler that had helped me the day before and knew exactly which ring I was supposed to buy.

Should have gotten 10 grand worth of hookers and blow.

 

[Wild]

I gave my wife the new diamond ring that she wanted, and I was with her for several fittings to make sure that I bought the correct ring. The day after she decided that it was the ring she wanted, I purchased it. I gave it to her this evening, and she was unhappy that I "bought the wrong one" and wants to return it.

Mind you she last tried it on Sunday, and I bought it Monday from the same jeweler that had helped me the day before and knew exactly which ring I was supposed to buy.

Should have gotten 10 grand worth of hookers and blow.

Should have gotten her a dildo so after she shit on the ring, you could tell her to go fuck herself.

 

[jason73]

I gave my wife the new diamond ring that she wanted, and I was with her for several fittings to make sure that I bought the correct ring. The day after she decided that it was the ring she wanted, I purchased it. I gave it to her this evening, and she was unhappy that I "bought the wrong one" and wants to return it.

Mind you she last tried it on Sunday, and I bought it Monday from the same jeweler that had helped me the day before and knew exactly which ring I was supposed to buy.

Should have gotten 10 grand worth of hookers and blow.

 

[Rambo John J]

First she threw away my alarm clock last month because it was "broken" I had that thing for 40 years, longer than her. Now I got this neon blue shit that doesn't have a radio that keeps me up half the night because it is so bright.

Then, last night I was skipping through the channels and saw the OG Willy Wonka and she made a comment, oh let's watch that, I've never saw the whole thing. I looked at her and said how is that possible, she said she has seen different scenes but as the youngest of 6 she never had control of the remote.

I don't even know her.

What has your wife done or said that is WTF!

I lost it at

First she threw away my alarm clock

Complete unacceptable

 

[Miesha's Taint.2]

First she threw away my alarm clock last month because it was "broken" I had that thing for 40 years, longer than her. Now I got this neon blue shit that doesn't have a radio that keeps me up half the night because it is so bright.

Then, last night I was skipping through the channels and saw the OG Willy Wonka and she made a comment, oh let's watch that, I've never saw the whole thing. I looked at her and said how is that possible, she said she has seen different scenes but as the youngest of 6 she never had control of the remote.

I don't even know her.

What has your wife done or said that is WTF!

 

[Mutant]

Well, my wife's a liar. That's long been established. One, early on she convinced me that she enjoys giving blowjobs. If that's true, someone else has been on the receiving end for 20 years. Two, she told me that her mom is a great cook & she learned from her. That's a lie. Not the part about her mom being a great cook (she is), but my wife can't cook for shit. Three, she told me that she's not high maintenance. L oh fucking L. She now just says the quiet part out loud and calls herself a trophy wife. Other than all that, she's awesome.

Merry Christmas? I don't think so.

Well atleast your sister canceled Christmas and won't g
Come over and since I voted fur Trump. She got married to a male tranny freak. Fucking insane fucks!

 

[kvr28]

Well atleast your sister canceled Christmas and won't g
Come over and since I voted fur Trump. She got married to a male tranny freak. Fucking insane fucks!

@NiteProwleR I need a tequila fueled spanglish translation stat.

 

[Mutant]

@NiteProwleR I need a tequila fueled spanglish translation stat.

I've only had 2 glassed tonight I'm not drunk senorita!

 

[NiteProwleR]

TRANS-late?

 

[kvr28]

I've only had 2 glassed tonight I'm not drunk senorita!

 

[Mutant]

 

[kvr28]

Why is this not in the Christmas movie thread