A local television news van is outside my house

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BackOffWarchild

BackOffWarchild

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Jan 17, 2015
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It's 10pm on the east coast, and this van has been in the middle of our cul-de-sac since shortly before 8pm. They knocked on the door of a guy across the street, who hopped in his pickup truck and bailed. They then went to another neighbor, knocked on the door and during that conversation a vehicle pulled into that home's driveway. The news crew shined flashlights into that vehicle, filming, and the driver backed out and took off.

Since then, they've just been chilling for the past couple hours. They have a tripod set up next to the van, and I think they may do something for the 11 o'clock local news.



I've given Mrs. Warchild a heads-up: If they broadcast live, I'm running out and shouting "Fuck her right in the pussy!"
 
hit4me4

hit4me4

Given out tokes like it ain't no thing
Oct 24, 2015
1,423
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BackOffWarchild said:
It's 10pm on the east coast, and this van has been in the middle of our cul-de-sac since shortly before 8pm. They knocked on the door of a guy across the street, who hopped in his pickup truck and bailed. They then went to another neighbor, knocked on the door and during that conversation a vehicle pulled into that home's driveway. The news crew shined flashlights into that vehicle, filming, and the driver backed out and took off.

Since then, they've just been chilling for the past couple hours. They have a tripod set up next to the van, and I think they may do something for the 11 o'clock local news.



I've given Mrs. Warchild a heads-up: If they broadcast live, I'm running out and shouting "Fuck her right in the pussy!"
Click to expand...

Please do that!! Or, scream Reebok is killing the UFC or something of that sort. That would be awesome.
 
jason73

jason73

Auslander Raus
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Jan 15, 2015
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ask them if they are here for the drug house down the street.troll the shit out of them
 
SC MMA MD

SC MMA MD

TMMAC Addict
Jan 20, 2015
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Set up a video camera on a tripod (preferably a huge VHS one from the 80's if you have one knocking around your attic) on your porch and start filming the van; or go sit cross legged at the end of your driveway and do it with your phone. Occasionally shout "Cut", "Places everyone", and any other stereotypical director phrases you can think of, or better yet have your wife do that while you stand by the van and narrate a news piece. Bonus points if you can get a statement on camera from the real news team.
 
SongExotic2

SongExotic2

ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. #ASSBLOODS
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Jan 16, 2015
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jason73 said:
go over there and ask them what they are doing
Click to expand...
Fuck that

Remember what old jack burton does in a time like this,

Wait until they are filming and roll up in your car blaring gangsta rap music with your windows down until the news lady gets mad.

(That wasn't really jack burton, it was me, almost got her a second time a few months later)

In hindsight I wish I'd have shouted "fuck her right in the pussy!"






I'm on the lookout for news vans now, I forgot how immature I am and how funny I found that shit
 
mysticmac

mysticmac

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Oct 18, 2015
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I heard they were looking to question people about their neighbor's internet activity...
 
Papi Chingon

Papi Chingon

Domesticated Hombre
Oct 19, 2015
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You should call some friends and have them randomly pull their cars into those two driveways and then take off! Get like 10 friends to do this at random times over the next few hours. You could even get them to do your dirty work for you and roll down their windows and shout "fuck her right in the pussy" as the media surrounds their cars.
 
BackOffWarchild

BackOffWarchild

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Jan 17, 2015
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Anti-climactic. They started rolling, I grabbed my flip-flops, and it was over. Like a 45-second news blurb. I don't even know what the fuck it was about, except that the reporter had a Madonna-level teeth gap.

Fuck me, delete this boring thread.
 
BackOffWarchild

BackOffWarchild

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Jan 17, 2015
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Well... fuck. It was a news story that our state may be routing a highway through our front yards.

I think I lost $25,000 tonight.
 
BackOffWarchild

BackOffWarchild

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Even better, our city's mayor is like, "Fuck yeah! Who gives a shit about those 300 families that overpaid to be close to two excellent schools? Bring on dat freeway!"
 
BackOffWarchild

BackOffWarchild

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AHAHAHAHA. I just opened the detailed map. They weren't kidding. Shit literally COLORED OVER MY FUCKING HOUSE.
 
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