Let me tell you what pisses me of today: People who use umbrellas when it's barely raining. Or, quite frankly, ever. It's water for fucks sake. Who cares if you get wet? Do you think your hair looked that good to begin with? Spoiler alert: it didnt. Water is the most essential element for human survival, and IT FALLS FROM THE SKY, and people act like it ruins their day.
The only time I enjoy watch some ass face with an umbrella is when there are strong gusts of wind, and the umbrella becomes a giant hinderance, breaks, and they toss it in the nearest garbage can. That's when I think "You just leveled up at life my friend", but sadly I know most will be buying a new one from Walgreens before the sun sets.
Umbrellas are for pussies.
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And that's the bottom line.