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Punch

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I've suffered with anxiety, panic attacks, and depression my whole life. It stems from when I was born, I was really ill with a disease in my intestines that forced me to be in the hospital until I was three. I was pronounced dead when I was 36 hours old and in a coma when I was two for two months. My mom was my nurses and my dad was the doctors. My parents couldn't afford to move to Vancouver where I was but they tried to come and see me as much as possible. I don't blame anything on my parents, they are retired, healthy, and have done very well for themselves. We have talked about what happened and smoothed it all over years ago.

I have tried to kill myself on numerous occasions. It was so bad one night that I called a friend that lived near me to come over take a knife away that I had in my room. She came with her parents and they took me to the hospital. I overdosed on pills a few times. I would lay in bed and come up with ways to kill myself and think about which one my parents would take the easiest. Fuck.

Growing up was weird for me because I felt like I wasn't like the other kids. I felt like I was monster from Frankenstein, the doctors put me together. When I was nineteen I got diagnosed with severe depression and panic attacks. My best friend got diagnosed almost at the same time as me with exactly the same thing. Together we were the fucked up twins. A few years ago he hung himself from a tree in his front yard, I took it hard but I also gained motivation to keep fighting. Back in 2013 I didn't leave my house for five months other than getting beer and shitty food. I would sit on my couch and stare at the walls. When I would go out to get the beer I would put on a hoodie and put my head down and not look at anyone but the sidewalk or floor.

I have totally cleaned my life up in recent years and it's really cleared my head. I used to have such bad anxiety in social situations that I would freeze in public. I have put down the food I wanted to buy on the floor and ran out of grocery stores. I was always afraid that I'd have someone try to talk to me so I would just stay inside all day. I would always think the worst before anything would ever happen. Now I look at the anxiety I get as a "dare" of sorts. If I feel it at any point I take it as my body daring me to do what is scaring me. It's like a little mental game I play that I always win. The best part of going through all that I have is that now that I've reached the point of genuinely feeling happy nothing can break me. I've seen the worst I can be and I've conquered it. I didn't really live for the first 34 years of my life, now I'm taking advantage of every moment I can.

Disciplined Galt @Galt I hope you feel better, I am here to talk to if you ever need to. I'm not smart by any means but I've been through a lot. If anyone on here reading this wants to talk I am here. If you don't have an account and you want to talk then make one and I'll talk to you as well.
You're cool as fuck in my book homie.
 

Lord Vutulaki

Banned
Jan 16, 2015
16,651
5,935


Galt watch this man, lets see if you can not drink for 3 months, just 3 months bro and youre free to go fuck your life after that.

Tip number 8 about the sugar thing is correct but I strongly urge you not to try to eliminate sugar and alcohol at the same time, in fact eats heaps of candy while you go cold turkey.

3 months and Ill see if I can shout you a trip down to the Islands for the weekend, if I cant Ill pass the hat around here.
 
1

1372

Guest
I've suffered with anxiety, panic attacks, and depression my whole life. It stems from when I was born, I was really ill with a disease in my intestines that forced me to be in the hospital until I was three. I was pronounced dead when I was 36 hours old and in a coma when I was two for two months. My mom was my nurses and my dad was the doctors. My parents couldn't afford to move to Vancouver where I was but they tried to come and see me as much as possible. I don't blame anything on my parents, they are retired, healthy, and have done very well for themselves. We have talked about what happened and smoothed it all over years ago.

I have tried to kill myself on numerous occasions. It was so bad one night that I called a friend that lived near me to come over take a knife away that I had in my room. She came with her parents and they took me to the hospital. I overdosed on pills a few times. I would lay in bed and come up with ways to kill myself and think about which one my parents would take the easiest. Fuck.

Growing up was weird for me because I felt like I wasn't like the other kids. I felt like I was monster from Frankenstein, the doctors put me together. When I was nineteen I got diagnosed with severe depression and panic attacks. My best friend got diagnosed almost at the same time as me with exactly the same thing. Together we were the fucked up twins. A few years ago he hung himself from a tree in his front yard, I took it hard but I also gained motivation to keep fighting. Back in 2013 I didn't leave my house for five months other than getting beer and shitty food. I would sit on my couch and stare at the walls. When I would go out to get the beer I would put on a hoodie and put my head down and not look at anyone but the sidewalk or floor.

I have totally cleaned my life up in recent years and it's really cleared my head. I used to have such bad anxiety in social situations that I would freeze in public. I have put down the food I wanted to buy on the floor and ran out of grocery stores. I was always afraid that I'd have someone try to talk to me so I would just stay inside all day. I would always think the worst before anything would ever happen. Now I look at the anxiety I get as a "dare" of sorts. If I feel it at any point I take it as my body daring me to do what is scaring me. It's like a little mental game I play that I always win. The best part of going through all that I have is that now that I've reached the point of genuinely feeling happy nothing can break me. I've seen the worst I can be and I've conquered it. I didn't really live for the first 34 years of my life, now I'm taking advantage of every moment I can.

Disciplined Galt @Galt I hope you feel better, I am here to talk to if you ever need to. I'm not smart by any means but I've been through a lot. If anyone on here reading this wants to talk I am here. If you don't have an account and you want to talk then make one and I'll talk to you as well.
Suffered from anxiety as well after my brother was murdered.. Truly WANTED to kill people so I moved to the other side of the world.

Your a cool dude L @Pee In Dee/I love cats

As are most people here...Always here to lend an ear.
 

Jehannum

TMMAC's Most Handsome Artist
Jan 26, 2016
12,756
13,916
Thanks bro but it's all good.

People got their karma.

The world keeps spinning :leftright:
I know I shouldn't ask this but when you say karma ... they got hit by a bus?

cause if those involved on one side were the perpetrators of the karma then most likely innocent people connected to those receiving their karmic justice also got affected, and I don't promote karma by association.

Personally this is what I think the judicial system is for even if it doesn't always result in justice.
 
1

1372

Guest
I know I shouldn't ask this but when you say karma ... they got hit by a bus?

cause if those involved on one side were the perpetrators of the karma then most likely innocent people connected to those receiving their karmic justice also got affected, and I don't promote karma by association.

Personally this is what I think the judicial system is for even if it doesn't always result in justice.
Let's not derail the thread.

Karma comes in many forms.

Anyway....WHERE YOU Disciplined Galt @Galt
 

Lord Vutulaki

Banned
Jan 16, 2015
16,651
5,935
I know I shouldn't ask this but when you say karma ... they got hit by a bus?

cause if those involved on one side were the perpetrators of the karma then most likely innocent people connected to those receiving their karmic justice also got affected, and I don't promote karma by association.

Personally this is what I think the judicial system is for even if it doesn't always result in justice.
AMA about Karma, its the one thing from my parent's and the wider interpretation of my "faith" I really believe in and think I have my head around.
 

Jehannum

TMMAC's Most Handsome Artist
Jan 26, 2016
12,756
13,916
AMA about Karma, its the one thing from my parent's and the wider interpretation of my "faith" I really believe in and think I have my head around.
I believe in karma for myself, in as much as I know something will happen to me that will make me remember whatever I did, but I'm not convinced it exists outside the mind


a lot of examples I see citing karma are idiotic too :D

this is an extreme example but I kept reading comments saying Manny Pacquiao being ko'd by JMM was karma because of the judging decisions in their previous fights. That's some cosmic justice not meant for human comprehension right there, if true
 

Lord Vutulaki

Banned
Jan 16, 2015
16,651
5,935
I believe in karma for myself, in as much as I know something will happen to me that will make me remember whatever I did, but I'm not convinced it exists outside the mind


a lot of examples I see citing karma are idiotic too :D

this is an extreme example but I kept reading comments saying Manny Pacquiao being ko'd by JMM was karma because of the judging decisions in their previous fights. That's some cosmic justice not meant for human comprehension right there, if true
Sorry I just realized you were responding to one of a few people I have on ignore here so I thought you were handing out some weird advice to Galt with bits missing lol

Yeah the mainstream interpretation of Karma is fucking stupid, I had a fundie Christian challenge me on my beliefs along the lines of "So all the kids in the cancer ward are there because their karma? your religion sucks" *Sigh* no they are in there for treatment of a disease not their karma haha
 

Jehannum

TMMAC's Most Handsome Artist
Jan 26, 2016
12,756
13,916
Yeah the mainstream interpretation of Karma is fucking stupid, I had a fundie Christian challenge me on my beliefs along the lines of "So all the kids in the cancer ward are there because their karma? your religion sucks" *Sigh* no they are in there for treatment of a disease not their karma haha
to your first line : aye yeah and I understand your choice ;)

the many karma interpretations often remind me of Alanis Morissette haha
 
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Lord Vutulaki

Banned
Jan 16, 2015
16,651
5,935
to your first line : aye yeah and I understand your choice ;)

the many karma interpretations often remind me of Alanis Morissette haha
Christians believe in karma they just dont know it , same as them not knowing that they are Sanatanis :)

"Do unto others as you would have done to yourself"

Hot Damn Jesus must have been an incarnation of vishnu or something lol
 

megatherium

el rey del mambo
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
10,573
13,373
Christians believe in karma they just dont know it , same as them not knowing that they are Sanatanis :)

"Do unto others as you would have done to yourself"

Hot Damn Jesus must have been an incarnation of vishnu or something lol
Well, let's just say The Beatles weren't the first superstars to travel to India seeking....
 

megatherium

el rey del mambo
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
10,573
13,373
I always wondered about that my learned friend, have you seen any convincing evidence on where he was during his missing years?
Haha, I don't even know who he was Vutu. Rob Solarion thinks he was Apollonius og Tyana. I have no idea really, but I definitely see what you and others see regarding Eastern influences.
 

megatherium

el rey del mambo
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
10,573
13,373
Apollonius of Tyana

Born February 16, 2 AD in Tyana, Cappadoccia, Greece.

Original founder of true Essene Christianity, whose precepts originate in Buddhist India and China(Himalayas).

Replaced by Yeshai Beth Halachmee(pseudo-crucified Essene of 4 BC), Jehoshua Ben Pandira(the Jesus of 100 BC) and Christna(the avatar of 3000 BC) by the priests of Constantine at the Council of Nicea in 325 AD.

The New Testament is a distorted account of his life and teachings.

Apollonius of Tyana -the Real Jesus of the New Testament
 

Disciplined Galt

Disciplina et Frugalis
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
26,030
30,793
Thanks for the kind words guys, really appreciate it. Just got back home from Cha Am, was nice to get out of BKK and playing with kids for a few days. Still in a bit of a funk, but a lot better.
 
1

1372

Guest
Thanks for the kind words guys, really appreciate it. Just got back home from Cha Am, was nice to get out of BKK and playing with kids for a few days. Still in a bit of a funk, but a lot better.
Awesome matey.

You have friends here fuckface.

Glad your well brother.
 

Jehannum

TMMAC's Most Handsome Artist
Jan 26, 2016
12,756
13,916
Thanks for the kind words guys, really appreciate it. Just got back home from Cha Am, was nice to get out of BKK and playing with kids for a few days. Still in a bit of a funk, but a lot better.
 

BrunoMcGyver

Bruno no dey carry last
Dec 30, 2015
6,506
10,288
Good to know you're doing a bit better now mate. Stay cool man. We love your awesome stories bro!