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Lancifer

Shogun of the Iron Liver - '98 OGer
Sep 3, 2020
220
325
Epilogue: I just started taunting him in a grade-school playground sing-song voice.

"Whiskey tooted on Mommy, Whiskey tooted on Maaaaaameeeeey..."

He started howling.

...he doesn't like being teased, lol.
 

Rambo John J

Baker Team
First 100
Jan 17, 2015
74,592
73,919
Apparently I farted on my wife last night while I was little spoon.

Upon informing me of this, I told her it was the dog. When I told her it was the dog I used his proper name, so he ran in from the other room. This made me pet him while continuing to blame him.

"Whiskey! You farted on the pretty, you farted on Mommy, Whiskey!"

This went on for quite a while...
Sounds like he is guilty
 

Phuckles

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.
Oct 24, 2015
370
671
I once gave a Monopoly get out of jail free card to the police officer booking me into jail. I kept it in my wallet as a joke, and when she was going through my wallet, I saw her pull it and asked if I could use it. She was not impressed, she was a total bitch.
 

Phuckles

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.
Oct 24, 2015
370
671
As an add on to that story, she was murdered by her cop husband like a year later. It was all over the news at the time and her face was always plastered on the front. He also killed their kid before killing himself.
 

Thuglife13

✝👑🍕🍦🍩
Dec 15, 2018
23,300
30,469
As an add on to that story, she was murdered by her cop husband like a year later. It was all over the news at the time and her face was always plastered on the front. He also killed their kid before killing himself.
Sounds like the cop was sick and tired or her cunty shit...

Fuck him for hurting the kid tho R.I.P.
 

Phuckles

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.
Oct 24, 2015
370
671
Sounds like the cop was sick and tired or her cunty shit...

Fuck him for hurting the kid tho R.I.P.
It's a wild story.

Apparently, they were under investigation for child abuse. They were going to lose their child and their careers. Dad knew he wasn't doing it, and presumably assumed mom was. So, he killed her and himself.

Turns out the baby had a disease that caused it's bones to break easy. Nobody was abusing the baby, it just had brittle bones that broke super easy.

Also, I think I spoke wrong. If I remember correctly, he just killed her and himself and the baby lived.

Edit: baby lived. Here is the story. The female cop in this story is the one who didn't think my get out of jail free card was valid, or funny.

Re-edit, a better reporting of the story:

 
Last edited:

Wild

Zi Nazi
Admin
Dec 31, 2014
88,870
128,067
As an add on to that story, she was murdered by her cop husband like a year later. It was all over the news at the time and her face was always plastered on the front. He also killed their kid before killing himself.
Damn! That's crazy.
 

TheAwkwardTitan

IQ = 209
Jan 30, 2016
1,995
3,449
Squirting argument settled. Definitely some piss in there. Not 100% piss but cooked a nice dinner with asparagus and later that night the smell came on strong brother.