So I've been changing up my diet recently to lower my carb intake and increase my protein and fat intake. From what I've read online, there are suppose to be a number of health benefits. I'm mainly doing it because it is suppose to lower inflammation. Not that I'm overly inflamed, but I thought I'd try it out. Anyway, one of the things that I read about it is that for the first couple of weeks, it can make you shit A LOT.
I had a few things to do downtown today. Go to the bank, meetup with a friend for lunch, hit up Costco. I did not make it to Costco. As I was walking a few blocks back to my truck from my friend's place, my stomach started turning. I thought, "No biggie, I'll just tell it no by sucking it in." Upon getting into my truck, I had to sit there for a few minutes fighting it off unsure if I should go back to the homie's crib and take a giant shit in his toilet, but I honestly didn't think I would make it back there. I thought it was better to sit still and drive home like a bat out of hell.
I did my best to do that, but leave it to the laws of nature, every God damn car in front of me was the slowest motherfucker that has ever existed. I'm clenching the cheeks this whole time thinking, "No, no, no, no, no." Anyway as I'm coming into my neighborhood, the feeling goes away which leaves me thinking, "Great, all of that and now I'm going get home and not have to shit." I wasn't having that, so I intentionally left myself in the I-have-to-shit-but-not-right-now zone.
I parked my truck in the parking garage, and as soon as I started walking to the elevator, my body told me it was ready again. I clenched, I danced, I prayed while waiting for the elevator. As I reached my floor and my door, I could feel it turtle necking in the wrong direction. Fortunately, my bathroom is right next to my door. There was no time. I skipped locking the door. Again, no time. Threw my keys on the bathroom counter. I also didn't have time to undo my belt, unbutton my shorts, and undo the zipper. Way too time consuming, so I sucked in my gut and yanked the shorts and underwear off. A bomb went off as I was sitting down. Mid sit, cheeks not even on the seat yet. The bomb went off all over the bowl. As I was sitting there, I decided I should check the underwear. Sure enough, there were a couple of small Hersey squirts in there. Not a lot, but anything at all counts. So it has now beenseveral 0 days since I last shit my pants.
And that was the third shit of the day. I already feel a fourth coming soon. The next couple of weeks should be interesting.
I had a few things to do downtown today. Go to the bank, meetup with a friend for lunch, hit up Costco. I did not make it to Costco. As I was walking a few blocks back to my truck from my friend's place, my stomach started turning. I thought, "No biggie, I'll just tell it no by sucking it in." Upon getting into my truck, I had to sit there for a few minutes fighting it off unsure if I should go back to the homie's crib and take a giant shit in his toilet, but I honestly didn't think I would make it back there. I thought it was better to sit still and drive home like a bat out of hell.
I did my best to do that, but leave it to the laws of nature, every God damn car in front of me was the slowest motherfucker that has ever existed. I'm clenching the cheeks this whole time thinking, "No, no, no, no, no." Anyway as I'm coming into my neighborhood, the feeling goes away which leaves me thinking, "Great, all of that and now I'm going get home and not have to shit." I wasn't having that, so I intentionally left myself in the I-have-to-shit-but-not-right-now zone.
I parked my truck in the parking garage, and as soon as I started walking to the elevator, my body told me it was ready again. I clenched, I danced, I prayed while waiting for the elevator. As I reached my floor and my door, I could feel it turtle necking in the wrong direction. Fortunately, my bathroom is right next to my door. There was no time. I skipped locking the door. Again, no time. Threw my keys on the bathroom counter. I also didn't have time to undo my belt, unbutton my shorts, and undo the zipper. Way too time consuming, so I sucked in my gut and yanked the shorts and underwear off. A bomb went off as I was sitting down. Mid sit, cheeks not even on the seat yet. The bomb went off all over the bowl. As I was sitting there, I decided I should check the underwear. Sure enough, there were a couple of small Hersey squirts in there. Not a lot, but anything at all counts. So it has now been
And that was the third shit of the day. I already feel a fourth coming soon. The next couple of weeks should be interesting.
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