Funnily enough, Cranbrook is the name of one of the most expensive private schools in Australia. But it is an all-boys boarding school for moulding the future elite of Sydney's homosexual community, not for Melburnians. I was forced to go to public school. Not only did it allow non-white people to attend, but in something that would shock the upper classes of Australia even more, they allowed females. Yuck.
Instead of spending our days and nights having naked towel fights with all the lads in between games of lacrosse and polo before a 'hazing' ritual of being spanked with a paddle and a strict curfew at 8pm, we were forced to play strip poker with girls while getting drunk all night. It was hell. The rich just don't know how good they have got it.