General Panda doesn't want to be cleaned

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MountainMedic

MountainMedic

Rock Kicker
Sep 28, 2017
8,421
15,459
"What are you in for?"
"Busting panda cheeks"

...and everyone moved away from me on the Group W bench
 
NotBanjaxo

NotBanjaxo

Formerly someone other than Banjaxo
Nov 16, 2019
10,680
21,476
scourge said:
I'm guessing they stay filthy so no predator will want to eat them. This is also my prison strategy. I will never wipe my butt in the big house.
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I've seen a cat use that exact strategy some years back.

I heard some angry cat yowling, looked out of my window and saw one cat aggressively approaching a second. I was looking down into a yard with no obvious way for the second cat to escape.

The aggressor continued to approach, still yowling loudly. The other cat flopped onto it's side, showing submission. The aggressor stopped for a few moments, then took a few steps closer, moving to within a couple of feet of the other.

The submissive cat panicked, rolled entirely onto it's back and tensed up - shitting itself as fast as it could. Properly forced a stream of turds out, which went all over it's fur at it's back end. The other cat stopped for a few moments, kind of looked at it with an air of triumph and superiority, then calmly sauntered off.

The submissive cat waited till it was obvious that the confrontation was over and then rolled to one side to let the turds fall off and started furiously trying to clean itself.

I was extremely impressed by that encounter, and have spent many years since then training myself to emulate that style of defence. If I am attacked and retreat is not an option, I can drop to my back on the ground, roll my knees back to either side of my head, pull my pants down and forcibly shit onto my own belly in less than two seconds. Ain't nobody wanting to lay hands on me after that!
 
Cornhole Champ

Cornhole Champ

Formerly 'kvr28'
Nov 22, 2015
20,041
28,382
NotBanjaxo said:
I was extremely impressed by that encounter, and have spent many years since then training myself to emulate that style of defence. If I am attacked and retreat is not an option, I can drop to my back on the ground, roll my knees back to either side of my head, pull my pants down and forcibly shit onto my own belly in less than two seconds. Ain't nobody wanting to lay hands on me after that!
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Strangely I believe you
 
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