Hey guys
I'm sorry I have not been online lately. I don't wanna be that guy and just bring a bunch of dumb, depressing shit onto this board. I love this forum and the community here, IMO, is by far the best out there when it comes to MMA fans. It's been awesome to see how this place has grown in just a couple months.. This thread really, really lifted my spirits, so thank you guys so much.
I was not online lately at all because I am poor as fuck and my cable/net/phone bill is ridiculous. Thankfully I got it turned back on Friday.. Anyway... Unfortunately, I did not get to meet Fedor/do the meet and greet. The last 2 weeks have been really rough for a variety of reasons. In the last year I've missed every concert, every fight, every single thing I've wanted to see because of this injury. I told myself meeting Fedor would be the ONE thing I HAD to do.. but, sometimes you can't control everything in life, I guess.
I will post a much happier/nicer reply and update you guys with my situation both here and on the thread about my back. I'm just, to be honest, a little embarrassed about it all. I don't want people to see me as pathetic or something. I really do not want to be known as a whiner... sometimes though, life is infuriating, especially when you can't do anything you want to do.. ever.
Things are slightly looking up though. I got my 2nd shot a few days back and that one helped the most by far. I'm really, really hoping that by the end of the summer this can all be over with. I will work harder than I ever have before, so that 6 months from now, I can live a semi normal life at least. It's just so much work/recovery with the physical therapy, all that kinda shit. That's why I'm getting the shots, to stop the pain so I can actually do the therapy and build my back muscles/core/my body in general back up to being a normal, functioning person.
In the last year I've lost all my friends, my job, and even my band. I can't keep living like this, and I am more dedicated than ever to getting better. I just hope these shots can work and get me to the point I can get thru the PT. I swear, the day I feel normal again, I am gonna conquer the world, lol. SO many things I have missed out on, and man, I just cna't wait to be back in action and living life again. Thinking of that goal, every single day, is more motivating than anything else.
For a while I had no hope at all.. But the shots they've given me (2 so far) have REALLY given me relief. Nowhere near a complete cure (they have to do a few more before I even start light PT).. but just to feel ANY relief/ANY semblance or normalcy is amazing. I legit forgot what it's like to wake up in the morning and be able to get out of bed without having to go lay on my floor and try to stretch my back out so I can walk from my room to the bathroom to take a piss.
The fact I can at least get there without having to writhe around on the ground, IMO, is a huge improvement. Now I can only imagine when I get the other shots, AND I'm like 2 months into the PT... I know things are gonna get better. Well, I hope they are, cuz I can't live like this anymore. I'm 25 and I swear if I spend my 26th year alive ni the same situation or worse, I am gonna rip my spine out of my back and kick its ass
Sorry for the long post guys. Just... shit is hard sometimes. I want to live a normal life like other regular people in their 20s.
EDIT
Really sorry for the rant. Just wanted to shed some light on things I guess... I have no one to talk to anymore anyway, as far as friends and shit.. So I guess here is the best place to post it. Thank you guys for caring.