TMMAC Member AMA/Q&A: @BJTT_Kiwi

[BJTT_Kiwi]

Where in NZ were you originally from? Wife is from Christchurch that city is buggered since the quakes.

Have you ever gone to the shire? I believe its close to Mata Mata

How many shitty asian drivers cause accidents in Queenstown?

I'm originally from Whangarei - the northernmost city in NZ.
Aside from beaches & weed, there really isn't much happening there.
Chch is definitely stuffed after the earthquake - it was such a beautiful city too.

Never been to the Shire, but have been to Matamata a fair bit.
One of the pubs/clubs that I used to manage had a sister venue there.
It had a heap of pool (8 ball) tables - I love that game.

Plenty of bad foreign drivers in NZ, but there seems to be a concentration of Asian drivers.
Actually the worst driver I knew was an Indian (dot) woman I used to work with.
She had sooooooo many stupid accidents.

Truth be told I've written off a car.
My brother has done two (one with me in it) and a motorbike.

 

[BJTT_Kiwi]

Cutie pie!!!! your wife is attractive also

Thanks for that I'm punching above my weight.
Pics still to come.

 

[BJTT_Kiwi]

I haven't seen this Chief!..when I was a kid I wanted to be CrI Jones. I will try find your suggestion.

It was Gleaming The Cube for me... and a Santa Monica Airways skateboard (Natas Kaupas), Gullwing magnesium trucks and T-Bones.

 

[BJTT_Kiwi]

@BJTT_Kiwi do you have any Kings cross stories?

Just a couple from the Cross, nothing too crazy.
First one was when I flew in to Sydney for a work meeting. We all ended up going out and getting very pissy eyed - my boss at the time thought he would show us around the Cross. We ended up in a hole of a strip joint, with him spewing over one of the strippers on the stage. Later that night (just 3 weeks before he got married) we left him in a brothel having a threesome with two very average hookers. He turned up to work the next day, made it to morning tea, spewed in the cafe and was sacked the day following.

Story #2 was my first night on eccy. Flew into Sydney again for work, caught up with an old colleague, drank a bottle of duty free vodka. He used to work in some of the pubs that I ran. A little bit of go fast and some happy tablets later, I was chewing the inside of my face off.

My batshit crazy stories are all from working in pubs and clubs in New Zealand for 6 1/2 years - before I turned in to a nice respectable corporate suit wearing kinda guy.
That's where the gangs, drugs, guns, knives, cops, cross-bows, head injuries, baseball bats etc all came out.

 

[BJTT_Pella]

Just a couple from the Cross, nothing too crazy.
First one was when I flew in to Sydney for a work meeting. We all ended up going out and getting very pissy eyed - my boss at the time thought he would show us around the Cross. We ended up in a hole of a strip joint, with him spewing over one of the strippers on the stage. Later that night (just 3 weeks before he got married) we left him in a brothel having a threesome with two very average hookers. He turned up to work the next day, made it to morning tea, spewed in the cafe and was sacked the day following.

Story #2 was my first night on eccy. Flew into Sydney again for work, caught up with an old colleague, drank a bottle of duty free vodka. He used to work in some of the pubs that I ran. A little bit of go fast and some happy tablets later, I was chewing the inside of my face off.

My batshit crazy stories are all from working in pubs and clubs in New Zealand for 6 1/2 years - before I turned in to a nice respectable corporate suit wearing kinda guy.
That's where the gangs, drugs, guns, knives, cops, cross-bows, head injuries, baseball bats etc all came out.

Sounds close to my visits there. Do you care to elaborate on the cross-bow story?

 

[BJTT_Kiwi]

Sounds close to my visits there. Do you care to elaborate on the cross-bow story?

Yeah for sure.

One of the clubs that I was working at had a sister club that needed a few extra staff one night for a big event, and me and a couple of other guys went to lend a hand.
It was a pretty normal night with no real signs of crazy happening. Few drunks, threw a couple out etc - all par for the course.
One guy took exception to having his night cut short, and mouthed off about "I'll get you guys blah blah".

Fucker comes back about an hour later with a cross-bow and points it at us on the front door. Yikes!
(First time I had ever seen one too for what it's worth). Someone calls the cops.

Anyway, one of the other security guards coming back in from a smoke break sees this happen, runs in and smashes him.
Guy is zzz, and is taken out of the way - around the corner and into the parking lot.
Cops turn up, ask where he is and what happened, and they are told that he is around the corner.
They came back shortly afterwards and ask if we know how he managed to shoot himself in the hand and get stuck to a fence.

The physics of how an unconscious man could make that happen still confuse me to this day.

 

[BJTT_Pella]

Yeah for sure.

One of the clubs that I was working at had a sister club that needed a few extra staff one night for a big event, and me and a couple of other guys went to lend a hand.
It was a pretty normal night with no real signs of crazy happening. Few drunks, threw a couple out etc - all par for the course.
One guy took exception to having his night cut short, and mouthed off about "I'll get you guys blah blah".

Fucker comes back about an hour later with a cross-bow and points it at us on the front door. Yikes!
(First time I had ever seen one too for what it's worth). Someone calls the cops.

Anyway, one of the other security guards coming back in from a smoke break sees this happen, runs in and smashes him.
Guy is zzz, and is taken out of the way - around the corner and into the parking lot.
Cops turn up, ask where he is and what happened, and they are told that he is around the corner.
They came back shortly afterwards and ask if we know how he managed to shoot himself in the hand and get stuck to a fence.

The physics of how that could happen still confuse me to this day.

Fucking shit. Ive had guns pointed at me more then once. Usually just made me mad. Idk why the thought of having a crossbow aimed at me strikes fear. Oh the thought of being hit by a three sided bolt. Fuck that id rather be shot with a bullet.

 

[Jesus X]

Absolutely.

One of my favorite movies when I was young was BMX Bandits. We are the same age, so I'm guessing you've seen it too. Am I right? Did you like it?

oi bonza mate

I used to have a counterfeit version of these bikes.

 

[BJTT_Kiwi]

Well that was a solid first day of questions.
Wonder what tomorrow will bring?

 

[OhWhopDaChamp]

What would you choose for your last meal?

Would you slap your mother in the face for 1 mil$?

Who is your internet arch enemy?

 

[FeeO]

If you could be reincarnated, what would you like to come back as? What do you think you'd come back as? Are they the same thing?

My aunt's husband is from Auckland. He calls sharks "bities" and it shouldn't still delight me so much after so many years.

 

[BJTT_Kiwi]

What would you choose for your last meal?

Would you slap your mother in the face for 1 mil$?

Who is your internet arch enemy?

On a plane about to take off to Brisbane for a work meeting. Let's see if I can answer these in time.

Last meal would be:
250gm eye fillet steak, rare
Steamed veges with lemon juice & olive oil.
My grandmothers apple pie.
A bottle of Appleton Estate 21yr old rum.

Yeah sure I'd slap mum for a million dollars, then give it to her.
Different story with Dad - I'd pay.

Internet arch enemy is a hard one.
I haven't had too many run ins online over the years. The bulk of people that I really don't like I'm happy to deal with in person - but death to any BJTT naysayers, and if I get one more fucking rainbow!!!!

 

[BJTT_Kiwi]

So today worked out like this

New Zealand WHAKA YEAH! - YouTube

 

[BJTT_Pella]

So today worked out like this

New Zealand WHAKA YEAH! - YouTube

My wife really wants to know what the fuck was she watching. I get it bro but what do I tell her.

 

[OhWhopDaChamp]

at some point yesterday your Q&A became unpinned these new people are posting random AMAs and that's probably the end for our little fledgling tradition here. That's too bad because you have an interesting story and great sense of humor. Idky it got unpinned and I'm not asking as folks get testy about such.

 

[Darqnezz]

How many of the bad boys do you own?

 

[girlandcoconut]

Yeah for sure.

One of the clubs that I was working at had a sister club that needed a few extra staff one night for a big event, and me and a couple of other guys went to lend a hand.
It was a pretty normal night with no real signs of crazy happening. Few drunks, threw a couple out etc - all par for the course.
One guy took exception to having his night cut short, and mouthed off about "I'll get you guys blah blah".

Fucker comes back about an hour later with a cross-bow and points it at us on the front door. Yikes!
(First time I had ever seen one too for what it's worth). Someone calls the cops.

Anyway, one of the other security guards coming back in from a smoke break sees this happen, runs in and smashes him.
Guy is zzz, and is taken out of the way - around the corner and into the parking lot.
Cops turn up, ask where he is and what happened, and they are told that he is around the corner.
They came back shortly afterwards and ask if we know how he managed to shoot himself in the hand and get stuck to a fence.

The physics of how an unconscious man could make that happen still confuse me to this day.

Hahahaha amazing story

 

[girlandcoconut]

So today worked out like this

New Zealand WHAKA YEAH! - YouTube

dying

 

[girlandcoconut]

NZ is high on my list of places to visit one of these days soon. That and Tassie. Most of my life I've been a solo traveler, but as I get older, I don't enjoy it as much, has to be the right kind of place/vibe, etc. Plus, I'm at that age where I'm spoiled and am not staying in hostels with 22 years olds, just, no. I need my own bathroom lol.

That said, any advice on parts of NZ that would be cool to check out as a solo traveler?

 

[BJTT_Kiwi]

If you could be reincarnated, what would you like to come back as? What do you think you'd come back as? Are they the same thing?

My aunt's husband is from Auckland. He calls sharks "bities" and it shouldn't still delight me so much after so many years.

Reincarnation... hmm, I would like to come back as a Silverback Gorilla. One dude, harem of ladies - alpha as.
Knowing my luck though I will probably come back as a butt plug.
Not so sure on the whole reincarnation thing though - I've been resuscitated twice, and have some pretty strong opinions about what happens when you die.

Bities hahahaha awesome, I haven't heard that phrase in ages but yeah it is definitely a Kiwi-ism.
I'm sitting here grinning like an idiot thinking about it. You've made my day with that question.

 

[BJTT_Kiwi]

How many of the bad boys do you own?

I've got 4 of them - all in different colours.
Just in case you are thinking about buying one, I would steer clear of the white version.
Even though it's rubber, trying to get the stains out after a decent flogging session is really hard work.
You would think that the thing would just wipe clean.... but no, it doesn't and it's a bloody nightmare.

Had to tell the kids it's my spiderman costume for Halloween

 

[BJTT_Kiwi]

My wife really wants to know what the fuck was she watching. I get it bro but what do I tell her.

It is a special kinda clip isn't it?

Just tell her it is all the awesome bits of the Kiwi culture, and every single thing is true.
If she has questions about any part/reference/image - eg airforce and bumblebee toys, "Business" is Flight of the Concords - just ask and I will translate.

As you might know "wh" is pronounced as "f" in Maori. So the "Whaka yeah" in the video is exactly what you think it is.
This means that lots of non-kiwis also laugh about the towns of "Whakatane" and "Whakapapa".

 

[OhWhopDaChamp]

All these rogue random AMAs are pissing me off lmfao I'm going to hang out on twitter until my eye stops twitching. did people have to pay to post threads before? they're like teen boys who just learned they can make white goo come spurting out

 

[OhWhopDaChamp]

How do you alleviate your aggravation?

 

[OhWhopDaChamp]

What do you remember from dying twice?