I'm going to tell everyone I meet that I'm an English professor.Just be a social hand grenade and they won't invite you
I used to tell chicks I was a dolphin trainer...I'm going to tell everyone I meet that I'm an English professor.
Aren't you married?...could people stop having them? They're fucking stupid.
What is your area of expertise?I'm going to tell everyone I meet that I'm an English professor.
Primarily exaggerating my proficiencies on online forums.What is your area of expertise?
Lawyer is also a good one. Be very specific about your field to the point that unless the person is actually in it they won't know you're just trollingWhat is your area of expertise?
If you're planning to have kids I understand the idea of wanting to be a unified unit. Otherwise, it's just a circle jerk as far as I can tell.Why ruin a good relationship with a marriage?
@Splinty pointed out a couple legal benefits regarding health situations, which was coolIf you're planning to have kids I understand the idea of wanting to be a unified unit. Otherwise, it's just a circle jerk as far as I can tell.
Could be, I think around these parts it's pretty square once you're "common law".@@Splinty pointed out a couple legal benefits regarding health situations, which was cool
Thank you for your honesty.My wedding was small and cost a total of $2500usd, which my wife and I got back in gifts from people. All in all, it was a glorified pizza party.
A Thursday wedding? You're exactly the kind of people I'm talking about. Gross.Wife and I got married on a Thursday so very few people drank alcohol, which helped keep our costs down.
I hope you didn’t have the nerve to wear white.My wedding was small and cost a total of $2500usd, which my wife and I got back in gifts from people. All in all, it was a glorified pizza party.
Was this the picture where the photographer was trying to get a shot of you and your wife with her parents but you insisted on her first capturing you staring at your wiener hanging out of your tuxedo fly?I was the belle of the ball.
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I thought everyone would enjoy seeing me spin it around. My wife’s parents weren’t as impressed as I thought they’d be.Was this is the picture where the photographer was trying to get a shot of you and your wife with her parents but you insisted on her first capturing you staring at your wiener hanging out of your tuxedo fly?
Fucking bizarre. You are my weirdest friend.