General Superman is a gay

Welcome to our Community
Wanting to join the rest of our members? Feel free to Sign Up today.
Sign up

Pak protector

Trichomes turning amber
May 16, 2021
2,362
2,040
Anyone ever read that short essay by Larry Niven called Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex?

It's about what Clark and Lois's actual physical relationship would be like. He points out that Supe's microscopic sperm would tunnel holes right through her girly bits on the way out the other side of her and sepsis yadda yadda.
 

Hauler

It takes twice as long to build bridges you burn.
Feb 3, 2016
34,195
45,851
Superman was flying around the city and spotted Wonder Woman sunbathing on top of a building, completely nude. He gets the idea that he can use his supersonic speed to fly down there, fuck her super fast and she wouldn't even know it.

So he does. He got in a couple pumps, flew off and she didn't even budge. So he decided to press his luck and go for 10 pumps. Same thing. She didn't budge. Screw it, he thinks, I''m going in for 100 pumps.

So he flies down, fucks the shit out of her and flies off in supersonic speed and Wonder Woman says "What the fuck was that?!?"

The Invisible Man says "No idea, but my asshole is killing me."
 

John Lee Pettimore

Further south than you
May 18, 2021
3,488
3,368
Anyone ever read that short essay by Larry Niven called Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex?

It's about what Clark and Lois's actual physical relationship would be like. He points out that Supe's microscopic sperm would tunnel holes right through her girly bits on the way out the other side of her and sepsis yadda yadda.
Superman should never have had a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend, for that matter.

"You will look like them..... but you are NOT one of them...."

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ
 

Pak protector

Trichomes turning amber
May 16, 2021
2,362
2,040
Superman should never have had a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend, for that matter.

"You will look like them..... but you are NOT one of them...."

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ
Superman is a lousy superhero.

If you can't hurt him, it's uninteresting to me. There's no drama because there's no threat.

There, I said it
 

John Lee Pettimore

Further south than you
May 18, 2021
3,488
3,368
Superman is a lousy superhero.

If you can't hurt him, it's uninteresting to me. There's no drama because there's no threat.

There, I said it
Superman might be my favorite superhero. He stands alone. I like that he is essentially totally invincible and can pretty much atomise anyone or anything instantly, but that immediately resorting to overwhelming violence to fix problems is not his way. I like the whole "you will give them an ideal to aspire to" shtick. Superman is way more interesting than Batman to me. Superman I have a lot of empathy for, Batman is just an overgrown emo kid who needs to cheer up. :smile:

๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ
 

Pak protector

Trichomes turning amber
May 16, 2021
2,362
2,040
Yup.

Thats the problem with all DC heroes. They are basically omnipotent, Batman aside. The lack of peril renders it useless.
I grew up reading Marvel comics but Batman is awesome. No super powers, just a martial arts killer detective. He's like 007.
Suspiciously, in Skyfall, we hear about 007's childhood as an orphan
 

Fingers ( Admin )

Formerly 'Fingers (Lover of BBC)'
Nov 14, 2019
11,375
12,950
Superman might be my favorite superhero. He stands alone. I like that he is essentially totally invincible and can pretty much atomise anyone or anything instantly, but that immediately resorting to overwhelming violence to fix problems is not his way. I like the whole "you will give them an ideal to aspire to" shtick. Superman is way more interesting than Batman to me. Superman I have a lot of empathy for, Batman is just an overgrown emo kid who needs to cheer up. :smile:

๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ

Lol. I am literally the polar opposite to you.

Cannot stand Superman and his preachy Godness.

Batman is probably my favourite comic strip character.
 

Pak protector

Trichomes turning amber
May 16, 2021
2,362
2,040
Superman might be my favorite superhero. He stands alone. I like that he is essentially totally invincible and can pretty much atomise anyone or anything instantly, but that immediately resorting to overwhelming violence to fix problems is not his way. I like the whole "you will give them an ideal to aspire to" shtick. Superman is way more interesting than Batman to me. Superman I have a lot of empathy for, Batman is just an overgrown emo kid who needs to cheer up. :smile:

๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ
Know what, Supe isn't totally invincible, forgot about stupid gay Kryptonite.

But he sucks
 

John Lee Pettimore

Further south than you
May 18, 2021
3,488
3,368
Lol. I am literally the polar opposite to you.

Cannot stand Superman and his preachy Godness.

Batman is probably my favourite comic strip character.
It's out of character, for sure. I pretty much always cheer for the bad guy. Even as a little kid, the Emperor was by far my favourite character in Star Wars. I used to switch ROTJ off when Vader picked him up to chuck him down the reactor shaft, and I just pretended that never happened and the Emporer crushed the rebellion, killed all the stupid Ewoks and goody-two-shoes rebels, and ruled the galaxy happily ever after. :smile:

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ
 
Last edited:

kaladin stormblessed

TMMAC Addict
Apr 24, 2017
12,045
14,398
It's out of character, for sure. I pretty much always cheer for the bad guy. Even as a little kid, the Emperor was my favourite character in Star Wars. I used to switch ROTJ off when Vader picked him up to chuck him down the reactor shaft, and I just pretended that never happened and the Emporer defeated the rebellion and ruled the galaxy happily ever after. :smile:

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ
 

John Lee Pettimore

Further south than you
May 18, 2021
3,488
3,368
Lol. I am literally the polar opposite to you.

Cannot stand Superman and his preachy Godness.

Batman is probably my favourite comic strip character.
Are you an immigrant, or do you come from an immigrant family? Wonder if that plays into it at all.

I'm first gen Aussie, but my cultural homeland is on the other side of the planet. I look like an Anglo Aussie, but I'm not. I've never been to the Netherlands, only heard older relatives talk about it. Now it's repeated in New Zealand. I have always had one foot in either camp, but not fully invested in either.

I'm an Aussie born and bred, but a lot of white-Australian cultural touchstones and traditions mean nothing to me, as I never participated. Culturally I am very familiar with Dutch language, food, social graces etc, but I've never been there. Superman is neither fully human, nor properly Kryptonian. I wonder if that instinctively speaks to some part of the immigrant psyche in a way that it doesn't speak to someone who is third or fourth or fifth gen. ๐Ÿ‘

๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ
 

Fingers ( Admin )

Formerly 'Fingers (Lover of BBC)'
Nov 14, 2019
11,375
12,950
Are you an immigrant, or do you come from an immigrant family? Wonder if that plays into it at all.

I'm first gen Aussie, but my cultural homeland is on the other side of the planet. I look like an Anglo Aussie, but I'm not. I've never been to the Netherlands, only heard older relatives talk about it. Now it's repeated in New Zealand. I have always had one foot in either camp, but not fully invested in either.

I'm an Aussie born and bred, but a lot of white-Australian cultural touchstones and traditions mean nothing to me, as I never participated. Culturally I am very familiar with Dutch language, food, social graces etc, but I've never been there. Superman is neither fully human, nor properly Kryptonian. I wonder if that instinctively speaks to some part of the immigrant psyche in a way that it doesn't speak to someone who is third or fourth or fifth gen. ๐Ÿ‘

๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ

Yeah I'm 4th of 5th gen. My great, great grandfather came from Lithuania I'm told. Mothers side goes back to being raped by the vikings.

Apparently family folklore tells me I'm actually a prince of said land. But I can't be bothered to go over there and claim my birthright.
 

John Lee Pettimore

Further south than you
May 18, 2021
3,488
3,368
Look: It's Spider-Man, not one word.

I actually have respect for Batman, he's vulnerable. Psychologically brittle.
The Dark Knight Returns really helped me get into his story.
Batman is a sook, and an asshole.

First, yeah that sucks to see your parents murdered in front of you. But 30 years later, you STILL can't crack a smile about anything?

You have a net worth that is eleven figures, you're community minded, your whole thing is reducing crime in Gotham, you're willing to spend tens of billions, and....... you've decided the best way to spend the money is to dress up in a costume, use one of a kind military tech that your company has developed just for you in secret, and go out on the streets at night by yourself to punch random street hoodlums in the face?

Uhhhhhh....... how about putting money into Gotham's schools, or building community centres, or developing the infrastructure, or investing in urban renewal projects?

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ
 

Pak protector

Trichomes turning amber
May 16, 2021
2,362
2,040
Batman is a sook, and an asshole.

First, yeah that sucks to see your parents murdered in front of you. But 30 years later, you STILL can't crack a smile about anything?

You have a net worth that is eleven figures, you're community minded, your whole thing is reducing crime in Gotham, you're willing to spend tens of billions, and....... you've decided the best way to spend the money is to dress up in a costume, use one of a kind military tech that your company has developed just for you in secret, and go out on the streets at night by yourself to punch random street hoodlums in the face?

Uhhhhhh....... how about putting money into Gotham's schools, or building community centres, or developing the infrastructure, or investing in urban renewal projects?

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ
If you're gonna pull threads on super hero back stories, every tapestry unravels.

Even mine. I'm a backwards Batman born with fifty parents who keep getting in the way of my crime fighting dreams to tell me I need to go to community College and pursue a real career.