Obvious choice for actors would be either Jason Statham or Vin Diesel, I've been mistaken for both.
I look more like Statham but if I smoke some weed I sound just like Vin. For any of the fight scenes I could be an easy stunt double (full nude sex scenes too of they were uncomfortable doing it themselves).
My wife could just play herself as she's great at everything she does. Just a quick pic a snapped of her when she came out to welcome me home today.
My if she was to busy then the actress would have to able to portray skills like high level volleyball and baseball, intoxicating smile, be close to 6' tall and be willing to have actual sex with me, Jason and or Vin.