Parenting: the Official TMMAC Thread

[gangsterkathryn]

Glad to hear your son is doing well. Yeah we don't push the issue when feeding because we are afraid of turning her off of eating. I think you are all right in that it will sort itself out but it is hard not to worry when you are in the middle of it. Thanks!

It’s very hard to watch it happen to this little life form you created and feel so freaking attached to.
It’s ridiculous.

My six year old is a butthole boy, but I love him with all my heart.

Sometimes, I’ll be at work and will think about him and swell up because I miss him and I love him so.
Like a damn crying fool.
Then he farts on me and I’m like “I created a monster.”

 

[Dashabox]

Sometimes, I’ll be at work and will think about him and swell up because I miss him and I love him so.
Like a damn crying fool.

Don't tell any of the guys here but I do the same thing from time to time. She has me all twisted up in knots.

Then he farts on me and I’m like “I created a monster.”

Lol that is awesome. When we fed our daughter formula for the first two weeks till the wife's milk came in she would do these long, drawn out 10 second farts. We would look at each other in amazement like "did you hear that?" "It's still going lol". I kind of miss those farts.

 

[nuraknu]

Tell me more about this chart? I am a woodworker, I will make the shit out of a chart if it will get her to eat better/more calories in the future.

She might be a little young for a reward chart. I'll post some pics later.

I suggested cheeseburgers and lard. No dice.

Hate to say it since you're not giving her dairy yet, or ever idk (I breastfed my son and made him wait until he was a year old before giving him dairy), but if you become more desperate than you are now, almost nothing is better for weight gain than a food designed to grow you into a 2000 lb animal.

But they do make fatty coconut milk ice cream too.

And also, for teething, I would say try giving her foods that are safe to eat frozen, like a frozen banana or a frozen waffle.

It sucks when they lose weight from not feeling well. My son was just sick for a week, and he used to be able to open the car door for himself, and now he has to build up the strength again.

Also he goes through phases, and your daughter may be the same, where I think he's starting to get a little chubbier, and then he has a growth spurt and suddenly starts looking too skinny.

 

[Dashabox]

She might be a little young for a reward chart. I'll post some pics later.


Hate to say it since you're not giving her dairy yet, or ever idk (I breastfed my son and made him wait until he was a year old before giving him dairy), but if you become more desperate than you are now, almost nothing is better for weight gain than a food designed to grow you into a 2000 lb animal.

But they do make fatty coconut milk ice cream too.

And also, for teething, I would say try giving her foods that are safe to eat frozen, like a frozen banana or a frozen waffle.

It sucks when they lose weight from not feeling well. My son was just sick for a week, and he used to be able to open the car door for himself, and now he has to build up the strength again.

Also he goes through phases, and your daughter may be the same, where I think he's starting to get a little chubbier, and then he has a growth spurt and suddenly starts looking too skinny.

This post helped a lot actually, you hit a few things right on the head for me.

First off just let me say that I was only kidding when I said I suggested Hamburgers and lard, I am not THAT irresponsible. My wife is dead set against not giving her ice cream or anything like it....I would like to try it, but you know how it is.
We give her bananas and waffles, funny that you mentioned that!

I keep telling my wife that perhaps she looks skinnier due to a growth spurt.

All I know is she is the cutest gaddamened kid I have ever seen and she is perfect.

 

[gangsterkathryn]

Don't tell any of the guys here but I do the same thing from time to time. She has me all twisted up in knots.



Lol that is awesome. When we fed our daughter formula for the first two weeks till the wife's milk came in she would do these long, drawn out 10 second farts. We would look at each other in amazement like "did you hear that?" "It's still going lol". I kind of miss those farts.

Those formula farts are ridiculous. My milk never came in and he had to be on special formula. That shit was so rancid. Nothing has ever smelled that terrible in my life.
Except the time I found a bottle his dad lost somewhere a day earlier. My goodness that was bad.

Also he goes through phases, and your daughter may be the same, where I think he's starting to get a little chubbier, and then he has a growth spurt and suddenly starts looking too skinny.

These kind of growth spurts get scarier the older they get because it just means all the damn clothes you JUST bought are not gonna fit in a week.
I’ve had shoes fit fine one day, AND BE TOO SMALL THE NEXT! RIDICULOUS.

 

[Dashabox]

Those formula farts are ridiculous.

I was thinking about getting on some formula just so I could blow my wife and friends away. I would be the bell of the ball.

 

[gangsterkathryn]

I was thinking about getting on some formula just so I could blow my wife and friends away. I would be the bell of the ball.

Nutramigen.
Thank me later.
Two bottles should be sufficient.
Trap her in the bathroom when you shit, too.

I do not miss those days.

 

[maurice]

My kids were never big eaters. They're also very active, so it's a struggle to keep them above the 20% for their weight. They're really strong, though, so the drs. don't care.

They get some huge % of their caloric and protein intake from dairy and eggs. OTOH, they're willing to try a wide variety of food, and sometimes they'll just go nuts and eat like 12 oz. of meat in one meal. Wish that happened more often.

 

[nuraknu]

Those formula farts are ridiculous. My milk never came in and he had to be on special formula. That shit was so rancid. Nothing has ever smelled that terrible in my life.
Except the time I found a bottle his dad lost somewhere a day earlier. My goodness that was bad.




These kind of growth spurts get scarier the older they get because it just means all the damn clothes you JUST bought are not gonna fit in a week.
I’ve had shoes fit fine one day, AND BE TOO SMALL THE NEXT! RIDICULOUS.

We had to supplement with formula at certain points and I switched him to gentlease because the poor kid just tooted literally all day.

And the sneaker thing - so expensive. I don't know if I'm going to be able to have another kid, but I'm saving those sneakers just in case. Except for the ones that fell apart, because even the more expensive ones are so cheaply made.

 

[Dashabox]

My kids were never big eaters. They're also very active, so it's a struggle to keep them above the 20% for their weight. They're really strong, though, so the drs. don't care.

They get some huge % of their caloric and protein intake from dairy and eggs. OTOH, they're willing to try a wide variety of food, and sometimes they'll just go nuts and eat like 12 oz. of meat in one meal. Wish that happened more often.

Yeah the strength thing is a good point. I am over 200lbs but I can not keep her from turning over in my arms when she wants to do so. I wish I had her weight to strength ratio. Also she can climb the stairs like a champ.....okay that is the last brag for tonight.

 

[gangsterkathryn]

We had to supplement with formula at certain points and I switched him to gentlease because the poor kid just tooted literally all day.

And the sneaker thing - so expensive. I don't know if I'm going to be able to have another kid, but I'm saving those sneakers just in case. Except for the ones that fell apart, because even the more expensive ones are so cheaply made.

Every pair falls apart because my son clomps his way through life, just like I do.
I did spend up on this most recent pair, and bought a little big. I’ve gotten three months out of them, which is good for us. I’ll be buying new ones shortly.

 

[Nemo?]

Text from my 13 year old asking me to pick him up from school.

Dearest Mother,

It has been so long since I left you to serve my country as a citizen. This place is bad, and it's getting more dreary by the minute. It would be most appreciated if you would pick me up.

Your Loving son,
Jarrett

What a Champion.

Before I had a kid I had a feel, now I have feels and it is terrifying if I am being honest.

Since this is the parenting thread and you obviously have kids can I ask some advice?

My little girl is undersized, the Dr's are a little concerned about her weight and she just isn't a big eater. We try feeding her all the time to get some weight on her but we don't want her to get upset and equate eating with something negative. Question is; any tips or tricks to get a 1 year old to eat more? I know all kids are different and like different foods but maybe you know a technique we could try or maybe a product to use.

Try eating with her.... when my daughter was around that age and would fuss about eating I would just eat it with her. Make food interesting by acting like you don't want to share.

I gained a few lb's doing it but it worked.

Also ask your mom what you ate at the age.

Good luck.

 

[Dashabox]

Also ask your mom what you ate at the age.

Solid, thanks bud!

 

[Disciplined Galt]

What a Champion.



Try eating with her.... when my daughter was around that age and would fuss about eating I would just eat it with her. Make food interesting by acting like you don't want to share.

I gained a few lb's doing it but it worked.

Also ask your mom what you ate at the age.

Good luck.

Government cheese!

 

[Sex Chicken]

Thanks for the response

See my reply to Nuraknu for some added details as it is too long to type out and bog the thread out.

Our family Dr was concerned about her weight and growth and referred us to a pediatrician.

First visit to the Pediatrician he got her naked and said "Nice bum!" Because she had a nice fat bum (God that sounds bad but it is a good thing for a babies health) So he said he was happy with her because she had a "Nice" bum and legs, meaning they were fat like a healthy baby and his thought was that she was just a small baby, with a small frame but had nice fat on her. My sister's daughter was the same way so it may just be heriditary (Yeah I can't spell that word lol) with no issues.

To sum it up: GP worried, Pediatrician not worried, parents a little worried.

She is teething, very irritable a couple days this past week and she has been eating about 75% of what she normally would. I'm not about to call 911 or anything but I would like to see her climb the growth chart a bit but maybe genetics can not be beat???

My daughter is almost two. She's not a very good eater, she's gotten better lately but for a long while she would just chew on stuff, then chipmunk it away in her cheek and spit it all out at once. I was getting freaked out about her eating, but you have to remember how little calories they need. I eventually started giving her the meal I wanted her to eat, but also giving her peanut butter on a piece of celery, or on a cracker on the side. If she gets even a little bit of peanut butter in her it's a good start. She also really liked those yogurts you get in the tubes. It's almost half way between sucking on a bottle and eating. Getting some yogurt and peanut butter in her let me relax and just let her play and fuss around with the other food until she got the hang of eating or her appetite increased.

 

[Dashabox]

My daughter is almost two. She's not a very good eater, she's gotten better lately but for a long while she would just chew on stuff, then chipmunk it away in her cheek and spit it all out at once. I was getting freaked out about her eating, but you have to remember how little calories they need. I eventually started giving her the meal I wanted her to eat, but also giving her peanut butter on a piece of celery, or on a cracker on the side. If she gets even a little bit of peanut butter in her it's a good start. She also really liked those yogurts you get in the tubes. It's almost half way between sucking on a bottle and eating. Getting some yogurt and peanut butter in her let me relax and just let her play and fuss around with the other food until she got the hang of eating or her appetite increased.

Yeah I am all about the peanut butter, I figure it is one of the most caloric dense foods and easy to eat. She isn't big on yogurt but we just have to find a kind she likes. You guys are setting my mind at ease, thanks guys.


Update: She stood up and took a couple of steps today and I freaked out. The wife came to record afterwards and we got her walking 5 or 6 steps right into the wife's arms! First thought was "Wow, that is amazing, what a milestone." Second thought. "Shit, I really have to get serious about baby proofing EVERYTHING now."

 

[Shinkicker]

I feel like a shitty parent today.

We had a backyard BBQ yesterday. Tons of people here. I had to go pick up my 15 year old's gf and finish up cooking in the kitchen so I made it to the backyard a little late, only to find my 13 year old son pretty much bartending ( fetching beer for everyone from the coolers). I kinda felt like this was inappropriate but didn't want to be the asshole, ya know?

Then Everyone who went to the bathroom in the house would come out and say something along the lines of "hey! Did you know that Your son and his gf are in the bedroom with the door shut?" She is painfully shy and didn't even want to come out at all. Understandable, as we are a loud, friendly bunch. Anyway, after many comments and criticism from mother's who have finished raising their kids, I texted my son and told him to keep the door open. He didn't.

So...it was either embarrass him in front of his gf or keep listening to everyone tell me I was crazy for allowing it. I chose not to embarrass him and will deal with it today. Not sure how yet but.....

And then to top it all off, all the kids are inside and a group decides to head behind the shed and smoke a doob. My 13 year old came out, the look out was distracted, and he walked within 3 ft of them to get a coke from the cooler. He didn't say anything but I expect that conversation today also.

FML

 

[sparkuri]

I feel like a shitty parent today.

We had a backyard BBQ yesterday. Tons of people here. I had to go pick up my 15 year old's gf and finish up cooking in the kitchen so I made it to the backyard a little late, only to find my 13 year old son pretty much bartending ( fetching beer for everyone from the coolers). I kinda felt like this was inappropriate but didn't want to be the asshole, ya know?

Then Everyone who went to the bathroom in the house would come out and say something along the lines of "hey! Did you know that Your son and his gf are in the bedroom with the door shut?" She is painfully shy and didn't even want to come out at all. Understandable, as we are a loud, friendly bunch. Anyway, after many comments and criticism from mother's who have finished raising their kids, I texted my son and told him to keep the door open. He didn't.

So...it was either embarrass him in front of his gf or keep listening to everyone tell me I was crazy for allowing it. I chose not to embarrass him and will deal with it today. Not sure how yet but.....

And then to top it all off, all the kids are inside and a group decides to head behind the shed and smoke a doob. My 13 year old came out, the look out was distracted, and he walked within 3 ft of them to get a coke from the cooler. He didn't say anything but I expect that conversation today also.

FML

Trust me, you don't want to trade with me
Oh well, off to church!

 

[Filthy]

Trust me, you don't want to trade with me
Oh well, off to church!

My kids beg me to go to church. It's 'Jesus School'.

I told my mom I win at parenting because get to tell my kids "Be good or you won't get to go to church."

 

[nuraknu]

Just got my first "I hate you" and my first "I am not your son"

 

[gangsterkathryn]

Just got my first "I hate you" and my first "I am not your son"

Awww. I’m so sorry.

 

[Shinkicker]

Just got my first "I hate you" and my first "I am not your son"

That's not necessarily bad. It's normal even.

He doesn't hate you. Don't take it personal (it's hard, I know!) and stay calm.

He's young and doesn't know how to work out his anger. So he says the worst thing he can think of to you because he wants you to know how upset he is. And he's looking to you to help him work it out.

When he does that, try to redirect him to what actually triggered him and what's really bothering him. For example "are you upset because I wouldn't allow you to .....?" Or just say "you must be very angry. Do you want to tell me why?". Then help him work out a solution. Or just let him talk it out (angrily, if he needs to).

Once he gets the hang of it, he will skip the 'I hate you' part and just move to the matter at hand.

 

[Shinkicker]

@nuraknu , I'm going to share this with you because it took me a while to figure this part out. Lol

Not only are these outbursts learning experiences for him, they can benefit you. There is no shame in bribery and/or bargaining with your child.

The basic rules in this are:

Don't give in right away. You can't reward bad behavior.
However, you must acknowledge what he wanted and help him try to get it (later or next time)

What I wish I had realized is that I could benefit, too. For example, here is how it may have went down at my house in the beginning.

Son: I hate you.
Me: wow! Those are some strong words.
Me: Look, I know you want that game early. But I said I would buy it for your birthday and I will. On your birthday. In the meantime, find a free game to download and play until you get your new one. (Helped him find a solution.)

Here is how it would go down later

Son: I hate you.
Me: wow, those are some strong words.
*waits until he storms off to his room. Follow him in and sit calmly on the bed)
Me: I know you really want that game early.
*pause to let him say something if he wants
Me: hmmmm, you know what. I get frustrated when I have to pick up your toys every night.
Me: ok listen, if you pick up your toys every night before bed, I will buy you that game 2 weeks early. (He gets the game early and I don't have to pick up his toys)

This is an example, but you can bargain for any thing/behavior you want.

Don't miss any opportunity. Lol

 

[nuraknu]

@nuraknu , I'm going to share this with you because it took me a while to figure this part out. Lol

Not only are these outbursts learning experiences for him, they can benefit you. There is no shame in bribery and/or bargaining with your child.

The basic rules in this are:

Don't give in right away. You can't reward bad behavior.
However, you must acknowledge what he wanted and help him try to get it (later or next time)

What I wish I had realized is that I could benefit, too. For example, here is how it may have went down at my house in the beginning.

Son: I hate you.
Me: wow! Those are some strong words.
Me: Look, I know you want that game early. But I said I would buy it for your birthday and I will. On your birthday. In the meantime, find a free game to download and play until you get your new one. (Helped him find a solution.)

Here is how it would go down later

Son: I hate you.
Me: wow, those are some strong words.
*waits until he storms off to his room. Follow him in and sit calmly on the bed)
Me: I know you really want that game early.
*pause to let him say something if he wants
Me: hmmmm, you know what. I get frustrated when I have to pick up your toys every night.
Me: ok listen, if you pick up your toys every night before bed, I will buy you that game 2 weeks early. (He gets the game early and I don't have to pick up his toys)

This is an example, but you can bargain for any thing/behavior you want.

Don't miss any opportunity. Lol

That's a good method. Thanks for sharing. I've done things with him like that before, but it's good to see it laid out like that.

Unfortunately, this situation did not go that smoothly. It started with a consequence for bad behavior, though, and I probably should have handled the original situation differently.

I needed him to know I was serious about him following tub rules and made him get out early since he was deliberately breaking them for attention. I did say at some point that if he wanted something (me to play with him) he should use his words, but he just looked at me and kept splashing water out onto the floor. Then he started throwing his toys out.

It was all compounded, I think, by his anxieties about knowing it was the last day of camp for the summer, that he will be going to a new school, and also that he was given lots of sugary treats like donuts and such at camp since a lot of parents sent things in for the last day.

He never used to say "I hate" anything. Then he came home his first week of his new summer camp and said "I HATE strawberries" or something like that. I said, who taught you to say that? He said it was a boy from camp.

In a couple of weeks he'll start kindergarten and we'll have a whole new set of bad behaviors he'll pick up from kids with older siblings.

 

[Disciplined Galt]

That's a good method. Thanks for sharing. I've done things with him like that before, but it's good to see it laid out like that.

Unfortunately, this situation did not go that smoothly. It started with a consequence for bad behavior, though, and I probably should have handled the original situation differently.

I needed him to know I was serious about him following tub rules and made him get out early since he was deliberately breaking them for attention. I did say at some point that if he wanted something (me to play with him) he should use his words, but he just looked at me and kept splashing water out onto the floor. Then he started throwing his toys out.

It was all compounded, I think, by his anxieties about knowing it was the last day of camp for the summer, that he will be going to a new school, and also that he was given lots of sugary treats like donuts and such at camp since a lot of parents sent things in for the last day.

He never used to say "I hate" anything. Then he came home his first week of his new summer camp and said "I HATE strawberries" or something like that. I said, who taught you to say that? He said it was a boy from camp.

In a couple of weeks he'll start kindergarten and we'll have a whole new set of bad behaviors he'll pick up from kids with older siblings.

Have you tried whacking him?