Damn, i feel for you. 6 years ago, i lost my daughter-best friend, partner in crime. I know exactly what you're going through. I work 3 days/week in a hospital, and took a 4 month leave. That helped some. Wasn't sure if i was going back due to the distinct sound of a ventilator. Still fucks me up.
Took me almost 4 years until i realized i was dealing with some depression.
Everyone is right. Exercise works works wonders in times like this.
Never be afraid about seeking counseling if you think you need it. Fuck what other people think, they're not walking in your shoes. Grief counseling never really did much for my wife or myself, but individual counseling did. You just have to find someone you're comfortable enough with to open up.
I agree about the meds, of course, my dr recently put me on wellbutrin for anxiety attacks that popped up about a year ago around bedtime. I would be just fine laying down, but my mind would go crazy, a mile a minute, when my head hit the pillow. Wellbutrin absolutely helped me.
Losing a child, in my opinion, is about the worst thing that could've ever happened to me. I was very angry for awhile, just angry at life. Still, pretty easily, i can get emotional over the littlest thing. It's amazing the way my life has changed since she's passed.
And the 'ol "time heals all wounds" is horseshit. You have a large hole in your heart. You DO learn how to live with it. And the hurt does become easier to deal with, i promise you.
Keep your head up, don't fall into the trap of just staying in all the time, closed off from life. Absolutely take whatever time you need for grieving, but get out there. If nothing else, go for a walk. Spend time with your loved one, talk about your daughter that passed, that always makes me feel better. Always makes me feel better.
I know this reply has been all over the place and i apologize about that.
You can pm me if you want, you can bitch, scream, cry, or we can just talk and compare notes. Just get shit off your chest, whatever you need. I hate when i hear another parent that's going through this. I'll help you in anyway that i can.
Edit-sorry op, just reread your original post, it was about your work. I was just trying to help you deal with your loss. Not sure what to jay about your job. Thinks will improve everywhere in your life when you can come to terms with the loss.