Need some advice (yes, over a girl -_-)
- Thread starter TheDorkKnight
- Start date
My problem is my gut is telling me two things, but I appreciate the feedback. I'm 25, she's 22. Gettin to that weird age where I'm running out of suitable partners without crazy baggage but still young enough that i have a lot of growing to doI think you need to trust your gut, if it is what you say, then I'm sure it will work itself out. If it doesn't, it's not the end of the world, sometimes people need to hear how you feel, right, wrong, or indifferent. Either way, good luck brother. Keep us posted. Just don't end up like this....
This is the truth, this is exactly what I did with my wife. I always thought I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try
That's the thing, she hits me up to come over all the time, and once she's here she doesn't leave for the rest of the day. It's why I'm so fucking confused about the boyfriend
Next time respectful decline the offer. Better yet line up a real date and tell her you have dinner plans if she inquires.
yeah.. if you see the girl you like in the bushes, spying on you..you know you're in.
Kiiiiiiiinda?.....she actually never talks about the bf, only time i know theyre still together is if she posts stuff online about them and that hasnt happened in a few weeks, so they might not be. I do see her texting "someone" from time to time, but I don't ask who
This is not the case actually. She has 4 main friends, besides me (5 if you count the bf I guess), 2 guys and 2 girls. Suscribes to the quality over quantity way of thinking
Reading your post it sounds as if you had a dysfunctional or 'not normal' background or childhood. If that is the case I would caution against that immediate feeling of comfort and "I feel as if I've known him/her forever." You probably recognize her personality type as familiar because she acts like someone in your dysfunctional past. If that's not the case, fuck it.
The other issue of her having a boyfriend that she slipped up and told you about and the fact that they do things and document it by sharing pics with everyone, things and places she never tells you about. How close can you be and how much are you guys really sharing when there is a big part of her current life that she's not sharing with you? You can try to excuse it because you're infatuated or falling in love with her but the fact remains she's being secretive. That's concerning.
You're assigning charitable motives to her shady behavior because you care for her. Cheating is more than just the physical act of sex, she's cheating her boyfriend and cheating you already by not being open about her life. Does he know about you? Does she talk about you via the same platform that she posts pics of quality time with her and her man? Have you met her friends and family that she's close to? These are all things that should happen organically if you're both being open and honest during all those days and hours spent together.
That being said, I'd bang her out if I was you.
The other issue of her having a boyfriend that she slipped up and told you about and the fact that they do things and document it by sharing pics with everyone, things and places she never tells you about. How close can you be and how much are you guys really sharing when there is a big part of her current life that she's not sharing with you? You can try to excuse it because you're infatuated or falling in love with her but the fact remains she's being secretive. That's concerning.
You're assigning charitable motives to her shady behavior because you care for her. Cheating is more than just the physical act of sex, she's cheating her boyfriend and cheating you already by not being open about her life. Does he know about you? Does she talk about you via the same platform that she posts pics of quality time with her and her man? Have you met her friends and family that she's close to? These are all things that should happen organically if you're both being open and honest during all those days and hours spent together.
That being said, I'd bang her out if I was you.
personally. if my woman is hanging out with another guy daily there would be endless texts from me pertaining to "WTF are you doing with another guy". her phone not blowing up tells me that there isnt another guy, and if there is he is a limp dick loser.
the way i would approach it is the next time she calls to come over, oblige. and tell her you are making some awesome food and you need her to grab some wine to pair with it on her way over (learn to cook, or fuck it, order out and plate it at home, I dont care. the point is the wine!). after a few glasses drop your feelings. and not in a weird "I want you in my freezer" kind of way. just kind of toss it out there, kind of like you are not concerned with if she has a BF or not because you are confident in yourself. dont sound desperate, sound confident, that confidence translates into her thinking "fuck this guy is awesome". confidence is infectious. and thats what you want. you want her unable to get you and your awesome attitude out of her mind.
I get it, don't let yourself be too available, Ive probably fucked up in that regard. But for whatever its worth, (it seems) I'm usually the first person she'll hit up to do something. So it's not entirely one sided here
Personally, I would hold back and maintain the friendship for now. Statistics show relationships are more likely to fail, than be successful, so I would play the odds...then be there to swoop her up when her & this other guy end things. Also, if you're as close as you say, then I'm sure she recognizes this as well. Hell, she's probably having the same discussions about you, with her friends.
I just don't see what you approaching her will accomplish? Because if she shares the same feelings as you, she will eventually let you know...boyfriend or not. Believe that.
But if you want to expedite the process...start going out with someone and let her know about it. Women are competitive when it comes to men, so you'll find out where she stands with a quickness.
I just don't see what you approaching her will accomplish? Because if she shares the same feelings as you, she will eventually let you know...boyfriend or not. Believe that.
But if you want to expedite the process...start going out with someone and let her know about it. Women are competitive when it comes to men, so you'll find out where she stands with a quickness.
Haha, this is the last thing that will ever happen. This decision will be made on logic and reason!
If you say so. 2 female friends and 4 male friends, one of which is not her bf but she spends every day with.
If you really respect her and want a healthy relationship don't play games. That's some bitchmade behavior and just an elaborate form of manipulation.
solid points. and where is this boyfriend if they're hanging out everyday for several hours
I agree with you on the first part, and she's probably able to get away w it because I think that they may be in a long distance relationship.
I like where your heads at on the second point. In a perfect world it would work exactly like that
hold up. so you're not entirely sure if she does have a boyfriend? and ya'll hang out everyday
dude..you're basically dating this girl and she's probably wondering why you haven't kissed her yet?
How is he supposed to know when things end if she doesn't discuss her boyfriend with him at all? He creeps her social network to find out about that part of her life. Sounds like he's not sure what the deal is with her and her boyfriend beyond they do couple things and share with their friends and family the adventures they have. Everybody on her social platform is aware of him but her new 'bestie' isn't. Shhhhaaaadddeeeey
People will pretend like there's rules to this shit. They are lying. Born alone. Die alone. Do whatever the fuck you want. You don't owe anyone jack shit. These type of threads are not about seeking advice. You already know what you want to do, but need someone to validate your actions. I'm your Huckleberry. Take what you want.
M
member 1013
Guest
fuck her
right in the pussy
right in the pussy
M
member 1013
Guest
Illmatic = the best hip hop album of all time.
This. You are actually dating her without the fucking.