Need some advice (yes, over a girl -_-)

[TheDorkKnight]

Sup yall, I'm back. Did a little bit of thinking and this is what Ive concluded:

@Leigh @MelE5150 thanks for bringing me back to reality regarding this boyfriend thing, I probably would've let that go and never addressed it if we somehow ended up getting together, and that's just not smart. So, I'm going to use the bf topic as a way to open up a discussion to putting everything on the table. Depending on her answer about this guy and on what this has been to her, I may or may not decide to take that next step of telling her how I feel and taking things further.

Everyone else, thanks for the words of confidence and reassurances that its okay for me to put myself out there like this. Whatever the reason, Ive been convincing myself that I'm not really meant to be w someone who makes me happy, so its good to hear the opposite thing for once. I guess we'll find out if she fits that bill when I talk to her, whenever or however I decide to do that

 

[TheDorkKnight]

Do yourself a favor. Get a ps4 and in 2 weeks get fallout 4. Play it forever and jerk off every once in a while. Bitches ain't worth the hassle mang.

Maybe after you completed fallout 4 15 times you can join the shaolin temple or something

hahaha ill be doing this for my one, man

 

[TheDorkKnight]

So...update.
Mel and Leigh, think you guys were right. I guess I should start out with stating that our routine for hanging out is her coming over about 11 at night after she gets off work, and we'll smoke, talk, watch netflix or play video games. Tuesday night there was kind of a weird vibe when we were hanging out, she wasnt acting completly like herself. Very, very subtle, nothing concrete, but to me, something was off.I didnt talk to her at all yesterday, and I assumed it had something to do with the previous night and I decided to give her space. Anyway, she hadnt texted me at all during the day yesterday, so by 10 o'clock at night, I figured I wouldnt be seeing her and went to bed.

lo and behold, get call from a random number at exactly 11 (i assume its her), and a text from her at 1 that said "didnt wanna hang out tonight?"

I wake up at 330ish in the morning (I sleep in increments), text back saying that I went to bed early unsure if she wanted to hang out last night, wanted to know if she wanted to hang out tonight. I get nothing in response. I text her again at noon kinda asking whats up. Nothing. Finally, she gets on snapchat and throws something up on her story about looking for a smoking buddy.

Alright, cool.

So I ask her point blank if shes mad at me over something, and of course her response is a flat out no, gives an excuse about not wanting to bother me and stuff.

I ask her why she thinks she would be bothering me. "Idkkkkkk"

mmmhm okay. I tell her "I dont really think that's really the issue but you havent been. I'd like to think that we're good enough friends that you could talk to me if if something were actually up" her response? Okay

hahahahahaha bitch what noooooo you did not just "okay" me. Seriously, what the fuck

Of course I didn't say that, but I see what's going on here by this point. As kind of just a final test to see where things are at, I ask if she were coming over tonight to smoke. Gives out a flat out refulsal, and a maybe for tomorrow. Ive NEVER gotten that before from her. Gave here a "cool, lemme know" and that was that.

Do I call her out on the way shes acting or do I wait to see what happens tomorrow? Or just say fuck it
altogether

 

[Psychotropic Wanderlust]

ditch the bitch.

she doesnt deserve you!

 

[check it]

.don't call her out on how she's acting because at the moment y'all are just friends..
and you'll make yourself look like a possessive freak if you're already questioning her behavior. ya'll aren't in a relationship she doesn't really owe you any explanations about what she's doing in her free time. unless of course she's no showing you.

if you want to hang out with her...ask. but i think it's time that you make your intentions clear to her..
otherwise all the ambiguousness of the texts back and forth are leading you on and making you wonder what the deal is between you.

 

[MadFatChickKilla]

Sounds like space is needed Bro.

Get back to doing you, if she see the light of day she knows where you are at.

Take it you didn't whip it out lol

 

[maurice]

Did you follow any of the advice already provided in this thread?

 

[Wild]

So...update.
Mel and Leigh, think you guys were right. I guess I should start out with stating that our routine for hanging out is her coming over about 11 at night after she gets off work, and we'll smoke, talk, watch netflix or play video games. Tuesday night there was kind of a weird vibe when we were hanging out, she wasnt acting completly like herself. Very, very subtle, nothing concrete, but to me, something was off.I didnt talk to her at all yesterday, and I assumed it had something to do with the previous night and I decided to give her space. Anyway, she hadnt texted me at all during the day yesterday, so by 10 o'clock at night, I figured I wouldnt be seeing her and went to bed.

lo and behold, get call from a random number at exactly 11 (i assume its her), and a text from her at 1 that said "didnt wanna hang out tonight?"

I wake up at 330ish in the morning (I sleep in increments), text back saying that I went to bed early unsure if she wanted to hang out last night, wanted to know if she wanted to hang out tonight. I get nothing in response. I text her again at noon kinda asking whats up. Nothing. Finally, she gets on snapchat and throws something up on her story about looking for a smoking buddy.

Alright, cool.

So I ask her point blank if shes mad at me over something, and of course her response is a flat out no, gives an excuse about not wanting to bother me and stuff.

I ask her why she thinks she would be bothering me. "Idkkkkkk"

mmmhm okay. I tell her "I dont really think that's really the issue but you havent been. I'd like to think that we're good enough friends that you could talk to me if if something were actually up" her response? Okay

hahahahahaha bitch what noooooo you did not just "okay" me. Seriously, what the fuck

Of course I didn't say that, but I see what's going on here by this point. As kind of just a final test to see where things are at, I ask if she were coming over tonight to smoke. Gives out a flat out refulsal, and a maybe for tomorrow. Ive NEVER gotten that before from her. Gave here a "cool, lemme know" and that was that.

Do I call her out on the way shes acting or do I wait to see what happens tomorrow? Or just say fuck it
altogether

Do NOT text her or contact her anymore. By phone, email, snapchat. facebook, or courier pigeon. Act like you don't give a fuck, and move on as if she moved to Ethiopia. If she hasn't texted you in 3 days, you know it's done.

 

[La Paix]

Fuck I'm glad I'm out of the dating scene. I'm sure she's doing as I previously predicted, wants attention from a guy who will open doors for her and tell her how amazing she is all day and then go back to her actual BF for more spotlight time.

NEXT!

 

[Wild]

Fuck I'm glad I'm out of the dating scene. I'm sure she's doing as I previously predicted, wants attention from a guy who will open doors for her and tell her how amazing she is all day and then go back to her actual BF for more spotlight time.

NEXT!

Wants a friend that will give her free shit, tell her great she is, etc...and a boyfriend that likely treats her like shit or acts like he doesn't give a fuck if she's around or not. It's usually how it works.

 

[jason73]

you need to go on a hooker rampage and forget this chick

 

[Qat]

Sounds to me like she put you in a box somewhere and made that a comfort-zone for her, where she can get shit she is missing otherwise. Don’t be her feel-good bf while the other dude bangs her. The information-flow is obviously not one of normal friends. The box has clear boundaries.
Girls like that use you, but they are so egocentric they actually think they are being nice to you and they deserve everything they get. So when you start questioning things or rattling the cage, they are going to get bitchy. Case and point.

I hope for your sake im wrong, and I might be. Of course there is the possibility though that she has feelings for you too and is just confused herself.
The thing is, you cant get out of the box yourself unless you pull out completely. Only she can take you out of it. But you can force her hand, and you should.
It already seems hard enough on you anyway, so don't wait much longer. Just tell her you like her for more than just the shit you've been doing. And be clear that it is a take it or leave it thing.
If she wants you, you will know then and can go from there.

And if there is a potential for a good friendship you don’t want to lose, you can still delve into that in a couple of months, and its most likely still gonna be there. For now, either get her or fucking move on. Its holding you back too.

 

[jason73]

try to bang one of her friends.she probably told them you are a nice guy so theres your foot in the door

 

[check it]

you haven't even told her that you want to do more than play video games with her yet.

how are you getting your feelers hurt if she doesn't even know what you're thinking. she's not a mind reader.

seems like you're about to break up with her before you started dating.

 

[Leigh]

Fuck I'm glad I'm out of the dating scene. I'm sure she's doing as I previously predicted, wants attention from a guy who will open doors for her and tell her how amazing she is all day and then go back to her actual BF for more spotlight time.

NEXT!

It's not the dating scene, it's guys like Mr Clueless here (no offense ) making it seem like a struggle, reinforced by other Mr Clulesses telling him to chase after a clearly broken bird with a boyfriend.

 

[TheDorkKnight]

Did you follow any of the advice already provided in this thread?

Well, I didn't get all emotional and try to get her to be with me.

Tried askin what was with the bf

I'm not shooting her text after text seein what's up.

So...I guess so?

 

[TheDorkKnight]

It's not the dating scene, it's guys like Mr Clueless here (no offense ) making it seem like a struggle, reinforced by other Mr Clulesses telling him to chase after a clearly broken bird with a boyfriend.

I'm not clueless, I wanted to feel alright about taking a chance despite the clues. There was enough signals for me to think I needed to talk it out

 

[TheDorkKnight]

Do NOT text her or contact her anymore. By phone, email, snapchat. facebook, or courier pigeon. Act like you don't give a fuck, and move on as if she moved to Ethiopia. If she hasn't texted you in 3 days, you know it's done.

Cool cool, this is what I'm doing next

 

[TheDorkKnight]

Sounds to me like she put you in a box somewhere and made that a comfort-zone for her, where she can get shit she is missing otherwise. Don’t be her feel-good bf while the other dude bangs her. The information-flow is obviously not one of normal friends. The box has clear boundaries.
Girls like that use you, but they are so egocentric they actually think they are being nice to you and they deserve everything they get. So when you start questioning things or rattling the cage, they are going to get bitchy. Case and point.

I hope for your sake im wrong, and I might be. Of course there is the possibility though that she has feelings for you too and is just confused herself.
The thing is, you cant get out of the box yourself unless you pull out completely. Only she can take you out of it. But you can force her hand, and you should.
It already seems hard enough on you anyway, so don't wait much longer. Just tell her you like her for more than just the shit you've been doing. And be clear that it is a take it or leave it thing.
If she wants you, you will know then and can go from there.

And if there is a potential for a good friendship you don’t want to lose, you can still delve into that in a couple of months, and its most likely still gonna be there. For now, either get her or fucking move on. Its holding you back too.

You're probably right

 

[Leigh]

I'm not clueless, I wanted to feel alright about taking a chance despite the clues. There was enough signals for me to think I needed to talk it out

Mate, red flags all over and she has a boyfriend yet you are unsure about telling her your feelings. You've got oneitis. Cut her off and start dating other birds.

 

[TheDorkKnight]

you haven't even told her that you want to do more than play video games with her yet.

how are you getting your feelers hurt if she doesn't even know what you're thinking. she's not a mind reader.

seems like you're about to break up with her before you started dating.

What can I say, I'm the sensitive type. Jk, maybe you're right, but it's way too early then for her to be fucking with me like this, assuming that's what's going on. If she's gonna drop me and find someone else to kick it with because I went awol one night, then fuck it

 

[TheDorkKnight]

Mate, red flags all over and she has a boyfriend yet you are unsure about telling her your feelings. You've got oneitis. Cut her off and start dating other birds.

Haha oneitis, I like it. Yea that seems to be the obvious answer, back to tinder for me I guess

 

[lueVelvet]

It's not right if it's this much work. The sparks should fly and no convincing should be needed. You'll see when you find her, she's out there.

 

[Zeph]

Missed out on eating for a month.

 

[Leigh]

Update @TheDorkKnight?