The service industry attracts some of the most self entitled workers in the world.
If you go eat an most casual American fare restaurants, odds are, the table will have a sugar caddie. It's so you have sugar to add to your coffee, or to make your own lemonade when you ask for a glass of water with a dozen lemon wedges. (We hate you). What they are not for, is to entertain your child. If you decide to let your kid dump them all over the table like some redneck piece of trash, have the decency to put them back.
Bus the table. You get paid to do it. It isn't like someone came in and damaged the property. You are complaining about having to do work that you get paid to do.
Kids meals are exactly what the name implies. Meals for kids. Don't expect the restaurant to serve you a kids meal, when it explicitly states that they are for children 12 and under on the menu. If you want a 4 ounce burger, go to McDonald's. Or, better yet, conduct yourself as an adult, and order off of the big boy menu.
LOL @ giving a fuck what people order off the menu. You aren't getting a cut of the profits. You have zero reason to care. Even if you do get a cut of the profits, you should know enough to keep customers happy. This is no reason to lose a customer.
They are your server, not your servant. Remember they are working with assholes (both coworkers and customers) all day long, and 12 hour shifts are not a rarity, so have a little respect. Ex: put your damn phone down for 5 seconds when they come to introduce themselves and tell you about the specials. This leads me to my next point.
Everyone works with assholes and long hours. Stop complaining. It isn't going to do any good. Most of the time, I don't give a fuck about the specials. I already know what I want.
Your server told you their name for a reason. Use it. Not "Hey Buddy" (I ain't your pal, dickface) [Bonus points for you if you read that in Donald Gibb's voice], not "Hey Chief" or "Big guy" or anything like that.
You don't call me by my name. You have no reason to expect me to remember yours. I'm an adult with real world adult problems which means I have other things on my mind. Your name isn't important. Just get my food and be nice to me, and I'll be nice to you and you'll get paid.
You are not their only table. Servers have to prioritize their tables due to countless factors. If you are dining in the city's theater district, don't say "We have a show in an hour" then order a well done porterhouse. First, if you order a well done porterhouse, you fail at life. Second, guess what, the majority of the tables there are probably going to the same show. Your lack of decision making to go out to eat an hour before first day of Wicked isn't our problem, it just shows lack of foresight on your behalf. Sometimes, you just have to wait.
As someone else posted, your tables wouldn't get filled if you weren't in that neighborhood catering to that crowd. If you can't turn around a table in an hour, you have problems. Everyone has to prioritize their work, and everyone gets wrenches thrown into that. That's life. Roll with it.
Don't think that the server is spending their time laying the mack on the pretty woman with her sugar daddy. 999 times of 1000, it's because she is a pretentious attention whore who expects everyone to give her special treatment. She's likely rambling on and on and on about her special dietary needs and asking exactly how many grains of salt go on the organic, free range chicken that she is trying to order even though she is at a seafood restaurant. Odds are the server is thinking about how he wants to cut his wrists in the kitchen and praying for an out to get away from the bitch as quickly as humanly possible.
I don't care about any of this. I only care about the service I get. I don't have huge expectations. Come take my order, bring me my food, stop by once to see how things are. Other than that, be in your section enough to observe whether or not you can sell someone another drink or if someone is trying to flag you down for something. That's pretty standard service industry shit. If you don't like the job, go do something else.
When your server drops the check, that means it's time to pay the bill. When they say 'I'll take this at your leisure, sir', that's server-speak for 'pay and get out'. Don't sit there and keep rambling on and on. You are taking up their table, and the number of times they turn that table is directly related to how much money they are going to make that night. People who go to restaurants to talk are like people who pay gym dues to go do pushups. If you insist on sitting there babbling, tip percentage should increase by 5% for every 30 minutes. Also, if you are the last table in the restaurant, it's time to leave. You don't have to go home, but GTFO.
LOL @ this shit. I'll leave when I want. LOL @ expecting to get paid in exchange for nothing.
There is no such a thing as a 'bad table'. If you want a booth or have any other special requests about seating, call ahead, make a reservation and request what you want or need. Don't just say 'oh can we sit there' instead of the exact same type of table that the hostess brought you too. You have no idea about the reservations, you have no idea about the sections that the servers are in, and the hostess is trying to seat the restaurant in an organized fashion so that the end result will be a better dining experience for all parties involved. They know how many reservations they have, they know how many people who thought ahead with any special requests have been assigned to sit where before you just walked in.
What do I care? If I don't like the table, I can ask for another. If they don't want my money, they can say no.
When your server checks back and asks if everything is ok, that is the moment when you tell them something is wrong. Don't wait until the end of the meal to complain and expect something for free.
Maybe I hadn't noticed the problem by that time. Maybe the server wasn't around for me to flag down later. If something isn't to my liking enough to pay for it, I won't consume it. If I don't consume it for this reason, I'm not paying for it. Take it off the bill or it comes out of your tip. If it is that big of a deal, I'll talk to the manager or walk out.
Don't grab a chair from another table if one of your old frat boy friend shows up after the meal has already been ordered.
LOL fuck off with this shit. If I see someone I haven't seen in awhile and they want to join me for a meal or whatever, they can. LOL @ we're here to serve you, but don't move the chairs and be sure to tip 25%.
As usual, the complaints boil down to "don't make us do work, but pay us well!" Get an education, get a real career, and complain about all the same shit. Welcome to life.