Parenting: the Official TMMAC Thread

Welcome to our Community
Wanting to join the rest of our members? Feel free to Sign Up today.
Sign up
Jun 28, 2016
13,262
17,862
That’s pretty cool man. I was never much of a chess player, but I think this is something that my son would get into. I’m gonna show that book to my wife (she’s all about games that we can do together). I’m sure I can learn as much as my 6yo with this book ;)
when I finished with the book, I shared it with a co-worker who wanted to learn and teach his kid. It's perfect for that.
And there's nothing better for your sanity than 2 kids quietly playing chess against each other for 3 hours.
 

yuki2054

graded martial artist
Nov 8, 2016
3,226
1,767
my wee ones have become enamored with chess. I was recommended a book, Chess is Child's Play, and it does an amazing job of showing you how to teach kids the game. Even the 2 yo is picking up pieces and saying the name. I'm not chess-master, not by a long shot, but I like the game and play every once in awhile.

This is my 4 yo, stomping my ass at chess. I did win in the end, but the little turd just plays SOLID fundamentals. Never leaves a piece unsupported, knows the 'value' of each piece and how to decide if a trade is 'good'. She just gets frustrated because she wants to Win, and doesn't want to make a 'wrong' move.


You should let her win! It helps their self esteem!
 
Jun 28, 2016
13,262
17,862
You should let her win! It helps their self esteem!
that's not real self-esteem, it's just a hollow facade. Real feelings of self-worth come from committing your time and talent towards making a better version of yourself - one capable of achieving a goal that the current version of yourself cannot.

My kids want to beat me at chess so bad, and if they keep playing, they will.

The 4 yo 'beat' Grandpa. She had him boxed in about 3 moves from checkmate. I just had to direct her attack and she made Sad Grandpa. :)
 

yuki2054

graded martial artist
Nov 8, 2016
3,226
1,767
that's not real self-esteem, it's just a hollow facade. Real feelings of self-worth come from committing your time and talent towards making a better version of yourself - one capable of achieving a goal that the current version of yourself cannot.

My kids want to beat me at chess so bad, and if they keep playing, they will.

The 4 yo 'beat' Grandpa. She had him boxed in about 3 moves from checkmate. I just had to direct her attack and she made Sad Grandpa. :)
I always let the kids beat me. Well most of the time anyway. Or at least give them a handicap, such as letting them take my queen, a rook and two more minor pieces. There is nothing shameful about being beat by a kid.

But you are right, the better they get, the more of a challenge you need to give them. They have the rest of life to practice losing. It's nice to give them a win?!
 

Vagabond

it's what it is...
Oct 21, 2015
8,273
11,192
my baby girl was born last week~ just a noob at this whole parenting thing. I'm here to observe and study. I'm sure I'll have to deal with my own problems when they come up but so far, I love every moment of it. Now I fully understand when people say, "best thing ever happened to me was when my kid was born".

reading the first few posts makes me realize, I've got a looooong way to go...

My baby started doing this with her eyes, was wondering if she’s trippin on DMT?



 
Last edited:

yuki2054

graded martial artist
Nov 8, 2016
3,226
1,767
my baby girl was born last week~ just a noob at this whole parenting thing. I'm here to observe and study. I'm sure I'll have to deal with my own problems when they come up but so far, I love every moment of it. Now I fully understand when people say, "best thing ever happened to me was when my kid was born".

reading the first few posts makes me realize, I've got a looooong way to go...

My baby started doing this with her eyes, was wondering if she’s trippin on DMT?



Aww bless you. And bless her!
 

kneeblock

Don't it always seem to go
Apr 18, 2015
10,197
18,946
my baby girl was born last week~ just a noob at this whole parenting thing. I'm here to observe and study. I'm sure I'll have to deal with my own problems when they come up but so far, I love every moment of it. Now I fully understand when people say, "best thing ever happened to me was when my kid was born".

reading the first few posts makes me realize, I've got a looooong way to go...

My baby started doing this with her eyes, was wondering if she’s trippin on DMT?



Congrats! Please post in this thread again in 2, 7, and 14 years!
 

maurice

Posting Machine
Oct 21, 2015
1,346
2,268
My youngest is super competitive and refuses to play chess with me because I don't let him win. I'll occasionally play some nonsense opening to give him an advantage, but he's still not old enough to beat me yet.
 

yuki2054

graded martial artist
Nov 8, 2016
3,226
1,767
My youngest is super competitive and refuses to play chess with me because I don't let him win. I'll occasionally play some nonsense opening to give him an advantage, but he's still not old enough to beat me yet.
Maurice. I'm in the middle of watching your DVDs. Someone once called me a grandmaster god bless them. But you Disciplined Galt @Galt beat me when we squared off...

I'm not as good as you, and generally think retroactively, rather than ahead. But you know when we play kids, I don't see anything wrong with giving them the odd game. At least once in a while?!

John.

Ps I played the former Russian grandmaster's (Kasparov) kid online a few month's ago. And I think I won. But it was a nice positional game. Unlike these tactical disasters, modern day computer aided games, present us with!!
 

Disciplined Galt

Disciplina et Frugalis
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
26,040
30,800
Maurice. I'm in the middle of watching your DVDs. Someone once called me a grandmaster god bless them. But you Disciplined Galt @Galt beat me when we squared off...

I'm not as good as you, and generally think retroactively, rather than ahead. But you know when we play kids, I don't see anything wrong with giving them the odd game. At least once in a while?!

John.

Ps I played the former Russian grandmaster's (Kasparov) kid online a few month's ago. And I think I won. But it was a nice positional game. Unlike these tactical disasters, modern day computer aided games, present us with!!
Don’t worry about it, I’m a stable genius.
 
Jun 28, 2016
13,262
17,862
I always let the kids beat me. Well most of the time anyway. Or at least give them a handicap, such as letting them take my queen, a rook and two more minor pieces. There is nothing shameful about being beat by a kid.

But you are right, the better they get, the more of a challenge you need to give them. They have the rest of life to practice losing. It's nice to give them a win?!
I'm trying to teach them to define their own win. Not losing their queen is a Win. Taking one of my pieces is a Win. For the 4 yo, making me stop and think about the next move for more than 30s is a Big Win. :)

I read a book by called Finding Flow a while back, and it really changed how I look at competition. In all of their 'practice' games, I just want the kids to define a challenge which is just at the edge of their capability so they can improve their instincts and learn to trust them.

FWIW - I've never beat my Dad at billiards. Maybe knocking around balls for fun I won some...but never when we were playing 'for real'. And I worked for awhile at a pool hall, and played in tournaments at a solid 8 speed. But when he was a kid, he and his brothers were too poor to go to the swimming pool all the time, so they went to the bar and played pool or to the park and played tennis. But overall, I want them to feel like beating me is absolutely impossible. Until it isn't.

Mom gives them wins, Grandpa gives them wins, they play against each other and get wins, the 6 yo is in 'Chess Club' now and gets wins...

But Papa don't lie. Papa is The Truth.
:cool:
 
Jun 28, 2016
13,262
17,862
my baby girl was born last week~ just a noob at this whole parenting thing. I'm here to observe and study. I'm sure I'll have to deal with my own problems when they come up but so far, I love every moment of it. Now I fully understand when people say, "best thing ever happened to me was when my kid was born".

reading the first few posts makes me realize, I've got a looooong way to go...

My baby started doing this with her eyes, was wondering if she’s trippin on DMT?



Wait until she starts growling in a death metal voice...
 

yuki2054

graded martial artist
Nov 8, 2016
3,226
1,767
I'm trying to teach them to define their own win. Not losing their queen is a Win. Taking one of my pieces is a Win. For the 4 yo, making me stop and think about the next move for more than 30s is a Big Win. :)

I read a book by called Finding Flow a while back, and it really changed how I look at competition. In all of their 'practice' games, I just want the kids to define a challenge which is just at the edge of their capability so they can improve their instincts and learn to trust them.

FWIW - I've never beat my Dad at billiards. Maybe knocking around balls for fun I won some...but never when we were playing 'for real'. And I worked for awhile at a pool hall, and played in tournaments at a solid 8 speed. But when he was a kid, he and his brothers were too poor to go to the swimming pool all the time, so they went to the bar and played pool or to the park and played tennis. But overall, I want them to feel like beating me is absolutely impossible. Until it isn't.

Mom gives them wins, Grandpa gives them wins, they play against each other and get wins, the 6 yo is in 'Chess Club' now and gets wins...

But Papa don't lie. Papa is The Truth.
:cool:
I can beat 1700 rated players on lichess. Well sometimes anyway. Although I'd say the general consensus is that I get the most challenge, is evenly matched 1600 + - . But when I play kids I normally give them a handicap. Depending on how good they are. Like you said a queen, or at least a couple of minor pieces, and a handful of pawns.

You sound like my dad. Right the way through childhood, he used to strain his cranial nerve, beating me every time. And now when he plays our friends son, he isn't able to switch back down to first gear. Hell I even drive in reverse. Purposefully not taking pawns and pieces, just so I can set them up an easy mate.

I even played a woman recently, and did just that.

We were all beginners one day. Like i said, you don't need to drive 30mph to beat your son. It may feel good, but it won't beat the feeling you get when you see him smile, when he beats you for the first time.

I dare you, try it. I guarantee that day, there will be two winners!!
 
Jun 28, 2016
13,262
17,862
I can beat 1700 rated players on lichess. Well sometimes anyway. Although I'd say the general consensus is that I get the most challenge, is evenly matched 1600 + - . But when I play kids I normally give them a handicap. Depending on how good they are. Like you said a queen, or at least a couple of minor pieces, and a handful of pawns.

You sound like my dad. Right the way through childhood, he used to strain his cranial nerve, beating me every time. And now when he plays our friends son, he isn't able to switch back down to first gear. Hell I even drive in reverse. Purposefully not taking pawns and pieces, just so I can set them up an easy mate.

I even played a woman recently, and did just that.

We were all beginners one day. Like i said, you don't need to drive 30mph to beat your son. It may feel good, but it won't beat the feeling you get when you see him smile, when he beats you for the first time.

I dare you, try it. I guarantee that day, there will be two winners!!
we already have extra 'rules' to keep the game moving. If they fixate on each move, the game takes forever and they get bored. So we have the 'rule' that I will only take unsupported pieces, and that I'll tell them if they're leaving a piece unsupported. I also won't make a 'bad' trade, even if it's a superior tactical move. For example, I won't trade my bishop for her knight - even if that trade sets me up to attack her queen or king. But within those simple constraints, I can play 'hard' and the game unfolds very quickly. It definitely helps them identify high-risk scenarios and tactics, like moving your queen out too early or staying behind a castle too long. When she finally beats me for real, I'm going to make a big deal out of it. And it's going to happen sooner than I think. :oops:

I used to play the card game 'Memory' when I was her age. I was unstoppable. Freakishly good at that game...no one wanted to play against me.

She beat me For Real when she was 5. I knew she'd get over on me one day, but I figured I'd have a couple more years.
 

yuki2054

graded martial artist
Nov 8, 2016
3,226
1,767
we already have extra 'rules' to keep the game moving. If they fixate on each move, the game takes forever and they get bored. So we have the 'rule' that I will only take unsupported pieces, and that I'll tell them if they're leaving a piece unsupported. I also won't make a 'bad' trade, even if it's a superior tactical move. For example, I won't trade my bishop for her knight - even if that trade sets me up to attack her queen or king. But within those simple constraints, I can play 'hard' and the game unfolds very quickly. It definitely helps them identify high-risk scenarios and tactics, like moving your queen out too early or staying behind a castle too long. When she finally beats me for real, I'm going to make a big deal out of it. And it's going to happen sooner than I think. :oops:

I used to play the card game 'Memory' when I was her age. I was unstoppable. Freakishly good at that game...no one wanted to play against me.

She beat me For Real when she was 5. I knew she'd get over on me one day, but I figured I'd have a couple more years.
You should let them take as long as they want to think about the moves. And also let them take, at a very minimum all of your pieces. Then try beating them, with only pawns. Your obviously such a good player, that will be easy work for you, right?!
 
Jun 28, 2016
13,262
17,862
You should let them take as long as they want to think about the moves. And also let them take, at a very minimum all of your pieces. Then try beating them, with only pawns. Your obviously such a good player, that will be easy work for you, right?!
I am not good at all, LoL. sorry if I gave you that impression. They're learning to capitalize on my mistakes, and I point out the mistakes they make.

But I make a lot of mistakes. I know how the pieces move, and I played a lot of chess when I was in the USAF (20 years ago).
I'm easy prey for these bloodthirsty little spider monkeys. I'm just clinging to the illusion of superiority so they don't challenge me for dominance of the household.

they're too cute. I wouldn't be able to say 'No'.
 

yuki2054

graded martial artist
Nov 8, 2016
3,226
1,767
Thankyou. Some humility for a change.

You need to keep on learning, as do they.

The main thing is that you and your children are having a fun time....

Your doing a great job dad. Keep up the good work!
 

Shinkicker

For what it's worth
Jan 30, 2016
7,656
10,511
Brag warning.....

My 16 year old is Drill team commander in Jrotc this year. He is also platoon leader. And in Color Guard.
He got to perform Color guard for the changing of some Navy Leader a few months ago. He is undefeated this year in wrestling and just made student of the month. And holds down a decent job.

My youngest, 15, is in his first year of JROTC. He has been promoted in rank faster than anyone this year and just made squad leader. He has been stand in a few times for Armed Color Guard. He is also on the rifle team and doing quite well.

I have such bad luck sometimes that I wonder if I'm cursed. But I am truly blessed when it comes to my boys.

:hearteyes:
 
Jun 28, 2016
13,262
17,862
Brag warning.....

My 16 year old is Drill team commander in Jrotc this year. He is also platoon leader. And in Color Guard.
He got to perform Color guard for the changing of some Navy Leader a few months ago. He is undefeated this year in wrestling and just made student of the month. And holds down a decent job.

My youngest, 15, is in his first year of JROTC. He has been promoted in rank faster than anyone this year and just made squad leader. He has been stand in a few times for Armed Color Guard. He is also on the rifle team and doing quite well.

I have such bad luck sometimes that I wonder if I'm cursed. But I am truly blessed when it comes to my boys.

:hearteyes:
my niece just asked me about joining the military...USAF or USN. My brother (her dad) was there, and I kept it pretty neutral...just shared my experience.

when she went outside to use the phone he was "goddamn it, you're supposed to have my back, LoL"

I told him not to worry, this is a big decision...influence starts with seeking to understand.
 

Shinkicker

For what it's worth
Jan 30, 2016
7,656
10,511
my niece just asked me about joining the military...USAF or USN. My brother (her dad) was there, and I kept it pretty neutral...just shared my experience.

when she went outside to use the phone he was "goddamn it, you're supposed to have my back, LoL"

I told him not to worry, this is a big decision...influence starts with seeking to understand.
And what was your experience?

Is he (dad) for or against?