Parenting: the Official TMMAC Thread

Discussion in 'The Off-topic Lounge' started by Kneeblock, Oct 3, 2016.

  1. Filthy

    Filthy ZBM2.

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    when I finished with the book, I shared it with a co-worker who wanted to learn and teach his kid. It's perfect for that.
    And there's nothing better for your sanity than 2 kids quietly playing chess against each other for 3 hours.
     
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  2. Splinty

    Splinty Shake 'em off
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  3. yuki2054

    yuki2054 ninjaboj

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    You should let her win! It helps their self esteem!
     
  4. Filthy

    Filthy ZBM2.

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    that's not real self-esteem, it's just a hollow facade. Real feelings of self-worth come from committing your time and talent towards making a better version of yourself - one capable of achieving a goal that the current version of yourself cannot.

    My kids want to beat me at chess so bad, and if they keep playing, they will.

    The 4 yo 'beat' Grandpa. She had him boxed in about 3 moves from checkmate. I just had to direct her attack and she made Sad Grandpa. :)
     
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  5. yuki2054

    yuki2054 ninjaboj

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    I always let the kids beat me. Well most of the time anyway. Or at least give them a handicap, such as letting them take my queen, a rook and two more minor pieces. There is nothing shameful about being beat by a kid.

    But you are right, the better they get, the more of a challenge you need to give them. They have the rest of life to practice losing. It's nice to give them a win?!
     
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  6. Vagabond

    Vagabond Think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world

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    my baby girl was born last week~ just a noob at this whole parenting thing. I'm here to observe and study. I'm sure I'll have to deal with my own problems when they come up but so far, I love every moment of it. Now I fully understand when people say, "best thing ever happened to me was when my kid was born".

    reading the first few posts makes me realize, I've got a looooong way to go...

    My baby started doing this with her eyes, was wondering if she’s trippin on DMT?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
    #331 Vagabond, Nov 4, 2019
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2019
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  7. yuki2054

    yuki2054 ninjaboj

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    Aww bless you. And bless her!
     
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  8. Kneeblock

    Kneeblock Jumbo shrimp

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    Congrats! Please post in this thread again in 2, 7, and 14 years!
     
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  9. maurice

    maurice Well-Known Member

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    My youngest is super competitive and refuses to play chess with me because I don't let him win. I'll occasionally play some nonsense opening to give him an advantage, but he's still not old enough to beat me yet.
     
  10. yuki2054

    yuki2054 ninjaboj

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    Maurice. I'm in the middle of watching your DVDs. Someone once called me a grandmaster god bless them. But you @Galt@Galt beat me when we squared off...

    I'm not as good as you, and generally think retroactively, rather than ahead. But you know when we play kids, I don't see anything wrong with giving them the odd game. At least once in a while?!

    John.

    Ps I played the former Russian grandmaster's (Kasparov) kid online a few month's ago. And I think I won. But it was a nice positional game. Unlike these tactical disasters, modern day computer aided games, present us with!!
     
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  11. Galt

    Galt ໝາກສີດາ
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    Don’t worry about it, I’m a stable genius.
     
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  12. Filthy

    Filthy ZBM2.

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    I'm trying to teach them to define their own win. Not losing their queen is a Win. Taking one of my pieces is a Win. For the 4 yo, making me stop and think about the next move for more than 30s is a Big Win. :)

    I read a book by called Finding Flow a while back, and it really changed how I look at competition. In all of their 'practice' games, I just want the kids to define a challenge which is just at the edge of their capability so they can improve their instincts and learn to trust them.

    FWIW - I've never beat my Dad at billiards. Maybe knocking around balls for fun I won some...but never when we were playing 'for real'. And I worked for awhile at a pool hall, and played in tournaments at a solid 8 speed. But when he was a kid, he and his brothers were too poor to go to the swimming pool all the time, so they went to the bar and played pool or to the park and played tennis. But overall, I want them to feel like beating me is absolutely impossible. Until it isn't.

    Mom gives them wins, Grandpa gives them wins, they play against each other and get wins, the 6 yo is in 'Chess Club' now and gets wins...

    But Papa don't lie. Papa is The Truth.
    :cool:
     
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  13. Filthy

    Filthy ZBM2.

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    Wait until she starts growling in a death metal voice...
     
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  14. yuki2054

    yuki2054 ninjaboj

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    I can beat 1700 rated players on lichess. Well sometimes anyway. Although I'd say the general consensus is that I get the most challenge, is evenly matched 1600 + - . But when I play kids I normally give them a handicap. Depending on how good they are. Like you said a queen, or at least a couple of minor pieces, and a handful of pawns.

    You sound like my dad. Right the way through childhood, he used to strain his cranial nerve, beating me every time. And now when he plays our friends son, he isn't able to switch back down to first gear. Hell I even drive in reverse. Purposefully not taking pawns and pieces, just so I can set them up an easy mate.

    I even played a woman recently, and did just that.

    We were all beginners one day. Like i said, you don't need to drive 30mph to beat your son. It may feel good, but it won't beat the feeling you get when you see him smile, when he beats you for the first time.

    I dare you, try it. I guarantee that day, there will be two winners!!
     
  15. Filthy

    Filthy ZBM2.

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    we already have extra 'rules' to keep the game moving. If they fixate on each move, the game takes forever and they get bored. So we have the 'rule' that I will only take unsupported pieces, and that I'll tell them if they're leaving a piece unsupported. I also won't make a 'bad' trade, even if it's a superior tactical move. For example, I won't trade my bishop for her knight - even if that trade sets me up to attack her queen or king. But within those simple constraints, I can play 'hard' and the game unfolds very quickly. It definitely helps them identify high-risk scenarios and tactics, like moving your queen out too early or staying behind a castle too long. When she finally beats me for real, I'm going to make a big deal out of it. And it's going to happen sooner than I think. :oops:

    I used to play the card game 'Memory' when I was her age. I was unstoppable. Freakishly good at that game...no one wanted to play against me.

    She beat me For Real when she was 5. I knew she'd get over on me one day, but I figured I'd have a couple more years.
     
  16. yuki2054

    yuki2054 ninjaboj

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    You should let them take as long as they want to think about the moves. And also let them take, at a very minimum all of your pieces. Then try beating them, with only pawns. Your obviously such a good player, that will be easy work for you, right?!
     
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  17. Filthy

    Filthy ZBM2.

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    I am not good at all, LoL. sorry if I gave you that impression. They're learning to capitalize on my mistakes, and I point out the mistakes they make.

    But I make a lot of mistakes. I know how the pieces move, and I played a lot of chess when I was in the USAF (20 years ago).
    I'm easy prey for these bloodthirsty little spider monkeys. I'm just clinging to the illusion of superiority so they don't challenge me for dominance of the household.

    they're too cute. I wouldn't be able to say 'No'.
     
  18. yuki2054

    yuki2054 ninjaboj

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    Thankyou. Some humility for a change.

    You need to keep on learning, as do they.

    The main thing is that you and your children are having a fun time....

    Your doing a great job dad. Keep up the good work!
     
  19. Vagabond

    Vagabond Think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world

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